I want to talk about the "Masturdate". I cannot take credit for this term, but OH do I believe in it. A "Masturdate" is defined as any date you take yourself on. It is treating yourself, to yourself. Allow me to elaborate... So much of our time is spent in the presence of others. The time we have by ourselves consists primarily of the daily grind. It is not usually considered special, glamorous, or fun- but why not? The "Masturdate" sprinkles fairy dust on solo time and reacquaints us with ourselves.
A masturdate should include all the indulgence of a masturbate. It should be all about satisfying cravings: relaxation, wine, exercise, adventure... without any of the compromise of a group event. I'll share a favorite of mine, as of late. I live close to the coast, so I get plenty of Vitamin Sea. I'll wake, workout, devour some goodies, and head to the beach. I bring books; I watch the surfers; I journal. I lounge without feeling responsible for entertaining others. This, to me, is the true beauty of this time. It frees us from any sort of decision that caters to others' needs.
Masturdating can be challenging because our society glorifies highly social, extroverted individuals. Who are we if we enjoy spending time alone- strange? outcasted? unloved? None of these. I consider myself an extrovert. The people I love make me come alive. However, I recharge when I am alone. I need time and space and stillness to cultivate the energy necessary to sustain connection with others. I used to be embarrassed by this fact, but no longer. I am a better human for the world and for those around me when I have taken the time to fill my own cup. You cannot pour from an empty cup. (That is not an original line, but I am not sure whose it is- apologies to this wise soul)
Another beautiful aspect of the masturdate is that it enables us to get to know ourselves. Imagine yourself on a date with someone else; you leave having learned something about them, their spirit, their preferences. Self dates offer the opportunity for similar realizations. They leave us with insight into who we are in the absence of external influence. We are a chaotic mish- mash of everyone we've ever known, I acknowledge that. But we accentuate or diminish traits based on the circle we find ourselves in... I long to discover those that align with my most intimate truths.
So, spend some time in love, celebration, and appreciation of all that you are. The Masturdate awaits, and it is the greatest of times.
