Inspired by romantic love and Valentine's Day but relevant in nearly every aspect of our lives, I give you: just say it. Say the thing you can't get off your mind, that springs to your lips every time you see that person walk through a door. Vocalize, verbalize, and offer words of affirmation in abundance.
I've come to realize that expression is fulfilling and omission feels vacant. When my heart beats proudly on my sleeve, I am alive. Sometimes broken, admittedly, but still beating. Always beating. In the moments just before speaking our truths, there is exhilaration and "What if?". Relief follows closely after. For regardless of the outcome, you have spoken. The weight of those words is now shared.
It is easy to think that holding back has fewer consequences. We perceive it as safe because it is less likely to change our status quo. However, I would argue that the burden of words unspoken is not one to be taken lightly. It leaves us dissatisfied. It invites doubt into our lives, causing us to question circumstances that once brought joy. No longer can we settle into the present, because of some unsung hypothetical alternative.
I'll give an example from my own life. My boyfriend and I shared a long courtship before committing to each other. During this time, he reconnected with an ex- girlfriend in a way that left me hurting and uncertain. A period of dizzying limbo followed, and nothing was reestablished between them. I felt shaken regardless. When he came to me and said "I regret that; we could be in such a good place right now", I planted myself behind a protective wall. I received positive reinforcement for this. The people who loved me believed that I shouldn't risk my heart again.
Spoiler alert- I did anyway. This guy and I remained friends despite it all, and I did my best to stand staunchly in the defense of my feelings. Each time we were together, however, I thought about what would transpire if I were to confess. One day, after a long day on Santa Cruz beaches, I let go and said it. Well did it, I suppose (I kissed him).
Since that day, we have gotten to explore our "what if?". It's been messy and grand and exhilarating, and I've learned so much. Nothing about the last 15 months has involved stagnancy, because exponential growth occurs when two people love and challenge each other. I harbor no regret for showing my hand.
I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't always work out this way. I've offered myself up on applications, only to be told I wasn't a good fit for the life I'd envisioned for myself; I've cared more about people than they have about me. These are scary possibilities because they leave us without hope, that tantalizing bastard. They answer our questions, albeit with undesirable outcomes. Here's the thing though: we have our answer. We can take that, learn, and move forward. We know, and this is infinitely more satisfying than the alternative.
Today I challenge you, just say it. If you're so inclined, leave a confession in the comments. Declare your truths, this is a safe space to do so.
