I want to talk about our internal monologues, and how profoundly they influence our state of being. I heard a brilliant quote on the podcast The Hilarious World of Depression that went something like this... "if we spend the majority of our time in negative fantasy, it's no wonder we're depressed". Ain't that the truth? I know it sounds woo woo, to think of our esoteric thoughts as influencers of biology, but it is oh so true. Consider this example. We're often stressed when preparing for big events (tests, a marathon, getting married, ect.) Our hearts race; our breathing quickens, we feel overheated. These physiologic changes occur as a direct result of stress, via the adrenal glands' production of cortisol and epinephrine. They occur before the stressful thing has even happened! Entirely because of our perception of the external environment.
This phenomenon is shared across the thought spectrum. The contents of our minds contribute immensely to our internal environment. So, let's select them wisely. Let's tune in to the mental monologue, and note all the ways in which we could be more generous towards ourselves and others. Become a conscious curator of thought, for health's sake.
I'll share a struggle from my own life. As a result of my eating disorder, I have spent significant time berating myself. "Not thin enough", when I glanced in the mirror. "What a pig", with each bite of food. I indulged in self- criticism, and forgot how to self- love. I lost the language of worth, of forgiveness, of compassion. I became increasingly anxious, which resulted in acid reflex and panic attacks. My physical health suffered as a direct result of perpetual patterns of negative thought. I strove to get better, but missed the mark entirely. I focused on eating more and exercising less, all while drowning in guilt for doing so. These were healthy, necessary choices. They were helpless to treat my disorder, however, without acknowledging its underlying psychology. It was not until I changed my mindset that I began to heal.
I started by writing mantras. As cheesy as this sounds, it forced me to repeatedly validate myself. This consistency was crucial for change, as it saturated my thoughts in positivity. The mantras went something like this...
~ I am beautiful.
~ I will learn to love my body.
~ I am more than the vessel that contains me.
Believe me, I felt silly writing them. I laughed at myself within the confines of my own journal. Regardless, they helped. I repeated until I believed. While I was working towards self- loving language, I also banished anything negative. I forbid myself any thought that belittled, negated, or criticized. I engaged in these two practices simultaneously, in order to attack the problem from both sides. Less darkness; more light. Rustle those curtains and let the golden rays pour through.
After six years, I have yet to perfect this. I have bad moments, days, and weeks. Regardless, my health has improved remarkably. My acidic stomach no longer burns, and panic attacks are an anomaly. Food and rest played their roles, but the revamping of my head space made this possible. It also made me happier, more energetic, and more easygoing. All this to say that our mental and physical health are inextricably linked. If you are struggling with either aspect of this holistic balance, I encourage you to seek solutions from both sides. Consider this- thinking occurs when neurons fire. Neurotransmitters are released, initiating a cascade of physical events within the body. The thoughts in our heads are manifestations of this process, and a remarkable phenomena. Let's get empowered by the idea that we can change our physiology this way. It may just help us to heal.
