We have all been there, walking through a store in the mall enjoying our Saturday afternoon. We turn the corner and there, down the toy aisle is some helpless parent trying to ignore their 3, 4, 5, 7 or 9 year old child who is throwing a fit. “I want it, Billy has one, I need it”. Sometimes the child may be hanging off of the parent, pulling on their jacket, I have even seen kids hitting their parents trying to get their attention. This continues on for minutes, tens of minutes, possibly hours or what feels like the entire day.
At some point the parent has enough and turns to the kid sternly and give them a good “If you don’t stop behaving like this….” Or maybe they grab the kid by the arm and leave the store and their cart full of items in the middle of the aisle.
Other shoppers without children walk by giving the “get a hold of your kids” look. Other mothers walk by giving the “I have been there” look. As a parent all you can give back is the “I am embarrassed look.
So how can you prevent such a meltdown? Well there is not real answer. I think it is bound to happen with all children at some point in time. My wife and I did plan ahead and have had great success with Luke when shopping. Many people often tell us that he is well behaved for being in a toy store.
Our secret? Take him to toy stores as often as you can. Make sure he knows that you are just there to look and that you are not buying anything today.
As early as two years old we would take trips to the local Toys R Us. Luke loved walking down the aisles and touching almost everything. Before we left the house we always sat him down and said that we are going to the store but remember that we are not buying anything today, we are just looking at things. Often we would pull out the camera and take pictures. He would say “Take a picture, maybe someone could get me that for my birthday” or “take a picture, maybe if I am a good boy you can buy this for me”.
At the time we started this the Thomas the Train aisle was the one we would try to avoid. He would spend hours looking at everything and at first would always ask why he couldn't get one. Things advanced to hot wheels and things were easier as he understood that we were just there to look. Then the Disney movie cars, then star wars, Pokémon, video games, Lego… You name it. Things have still gone rather well. We can even take him shopping for birthday parties with out asking if he can get a toy too. If he does see something he really likes he will sometimes say “I cant get anything right?”. I always respond “If you want to spend your own money you can go home and think about it and we can come back on a different day”. This forces him to think about the purchase rather then buy something on impulse. Often after he counts his money from his piggy bank, he will say "how much will I have left" followed by the decision that he likes keeping his money more than buying a new toy.
I know it takes extra time to go to the store for no reason, but it the long run it has been worth it. Everyone learns by repetition. It is just the way our brains works. If you can stay consistent and make going to the store and NOT getting something happen more often than going to the store and getting something, then you are going to eventually be on the winning side. This trick worked with our son Luke. I am willing to bet that it will work with your kids as well.
Do you have any tricks that will make parenting easier?
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