It is always a glorious day if I would begin to prepare for my bi-weekly dialysis because obviously I will get to experience that clean feel inside my body that I could not explain. It is similar to having fasting for three days with regards to being hungry without all the pains, muscle cramps and twitches, breathlessness, weakness, and all that I am always complaining about with my body.
It is because you get to be hungry and able to eat more and enjoy the food whatever it is. It is just in my case I am already suffering from an appetiteloss so any improvement in my appetite I am truly appreciating it very, very much because once I had taken one tablet of my Parathyroid medicine my appetite will just go to the drain once again.
After the succeeding days it would feel like every meal is just a chore that have to be accomplished otherwise my body will continue to weaken and emaciate. So I am just able to enjoy a small amount of time twice a week for that matter because of the circumstances that I cannot avoid.
That is just how dialysis works but in actuality it is more complicated than that because there are many factors around it that makes the life of a dialysis patient like me with terrible complications even harder to endure particularly now that there is a plague going on because if I would show symptoms of CoViD-19 then I will have to undergo a series of measures that will not be peligrous to me and my parents but also another burden to my financial capacity.
Right now I am battling man fronts in my life and I do not know why I am still standing, I already had a lot of mental scars because from my years of enduring bad experiences and all that hurtful things in my life that if you would into a single point all the people around it would weep. But I am still not losing hope because I refuse to give up until my body itself would finally capitulate and give me the rest that I am longing for from the moment that I was born and up to this day.