I was able to get some needed sleep although it is just a few hours and not that typical 6-8 hours straight or longer like many of normal healthy persons get when they sleep but that is me and how I would sleep now maybe because of many reasons.
I am just glad that I am not anemic anymore because that is a major cause of insomnia and I had suffered from it for so many years and I am also glad that it didn't affect my mind because I know that if you don't get to sleep for more than three days you will get crazy.
So I there was a time that my eyes would hurt trying to shut them down for so may hours just for me to get some few minutes of sleep. I am also addicted to coffee and still drink some everyday in the past years, only now I only drink a watered down coffee that you could say a coffee flavored sweet water because I am avoiding in getting addicted to it again.
Anyway I am relatively feeling good as the effects of Gabapentin is still working in my body. I like the way it lessens the pain in my body which is important for me so that I could not feel much the misery of the bone issues that I got.
I pray to God that I would not get anymore disabilities because of my bone degeneration and that it would stop right now and not to get any worse anymore. But I am fearing about my neck bone which is severely crooked, it might break anytime and cause paralysis.
I do worry about it if I would be a vegetable one day and I just rather die to get into that situation. So my fear is real and it is more than a nightmare. I am just trying to take my mind off it but still the reality of not getting to move my body is just more than hell for me.
I am still thankful that I still can move around and wash my body in the bathroom and I do not have much lingering pain anymore compared to the past few months. To God be the glory.
