I already took my Gabapentin, I should only take a third of it but I decided to just tell my mother to break it in half so I would get 300 mg of Gabapentin instead of 200 mg.
Right I am starting to feel that I am getting relaxed and waiting for my urge to sleep. I also didn't have a breakfast to let my internal organs get some rest from what I ate yesterday which is really not that of a big deal to most people but for a person with a medical condition like mine I am a bit sensitive to a seemingly negligible high calorie candies.
I hope that my Caffeine also wears off fast as it usually does so that I can finally rest the day out. I wanted to sleep but since there is noise everywhere around this house it just disturbs my sleep. At least if the door of my room is closed it helps a bit plus my parents takes care not to make any noise so that I will not be awaken up.
Yesterday I did take at least 700 mg of caffeine again so I think it is just too much. Now I might just stick to around 500 mg which includes my energy drink which I really enjoy drinking at my dialysis session while hooked-up.
Later in the day I plan to just take a bath and then maybe if I would feel the urge to sleep again then I will take that golden opportunity that now only comes ever so scant.
At least my waking hours is not wasted because of this blog work that I am doing. By doing so I can earn a bit and patch-up to my medical needs.
I hope that soon enough a miracle or a stroke of luck would get to find me because I really, really needed a positive change in my life because all that I am having is a pitiful life with lots and lots of hardships in all fronts. Also at least I have friends that I had found in this platform that selflessly cares for my welfare, you are all my heroes.
By being a member of this community it makes me feel secured so it makes me not to feel so depressed and alone because if I really would look at it without my immediate family and my friends here I am really would surely be in trouble deep.
That is why you cannot take out from my thoughts to really end it all before the worse happens. Unfortunately I cannot just do that but to just continue surviving this difficult, if you could call it "life" which for me is not life anymore but just a lingering torture of existence. I am still hoping that God would look at me so that I can get my needed rest eternal.