Well I am here just chilli'n on my bed 24/7 except in the times that I would go for my dialysis. I do wanted to go someplace or to the mall and window shop but now it is as impossible as mission impossible. Maybe if I were to have a good vehicle and a motorized wheelchair I could ask my parents to let us have a trip to a vacation spot but then again I have to think about the pain and torture that the ordeal of travelling would create to my body.
So it just gives me sadness and frustration to see other people have a good time during these festive seasons while I myself could not do anything but to just live my life in a survival mode, to eat just to live and not to enjoy food and just existing and not living like a normal person does.
So a normal person free from any disease should celebrate everyday that they are at least able to walk, talk, eat, sleep, travel, and work plus can also body-build, go in vacation, do business, or just simply live without pain and worries. Anymore than that is just a bonus. It is a heaven on earth already and only few people realizes that.
Anyway what makes me happy now is that at least I can give some cash for my Nephews and Nieces because I can see myself through them when I was once a frustrated little kid trying to amass some cash and just ended up with a few dollars equivalent in my pocket lol.
It just makes me miss out on life while I add years into my life. So much time is wasted trying to keep my head up from the water so that I would not drown in my own miserable state of health. It is just good that I have the steem community where I could find help, support, and it distracts me from what ails me. So I am just trying to enjoy what was left from me but still not losing my heart to achieve my goals in life, I hope that I am not too late, may God help me.
