Well, the day came to go into jail. The day before I said goodbye to many friends, but I was surprised that the next day, when I entered, I found many of those who had fired me the day before at the prison door. I thanked him for feeling very loved and because it was also a way that life had to show me that I had not been wrong when choosing my friends.
I went to jail, they took the photos, the file ... I already had a barcode, like in the slaughterhouse! Now I am already a criminal. Look where, I'm already something!
I was interviewed by a psychologist who was angry with society and with himself ...
I stayed all night in the admissions module and at midnight they brought another inmate who was drunk into the cell, although he told me that he had only wet his lips, like Ortega Cano. I was a bit surprised because he told me that he was a sniper in the Balkan war. I gave him the nickname Oriol Llunqueras, not because he seemed independent but because his gaze was a bit lost. He told me that they threw him out of the army (how could they not throw him out with that sight… those who must have saved their lives thanks to the fact that he was the sniper!), And he had never been able to digest the dismissal. Since then he has licked his lips very often. The day before, in a breathalyzer control, he had attacked several policemen and they sent him directly from the court to jail.
The next day we were taken to a module. The jail is made up of different modules, about fifteen, of 200 cells each ... Prisoners are assigned according to the criteria of psychologists or by plug. If you meet someone, they take you to a quiet module and you leave before, as Urdangarin just happened: they let him go to an NGO and his partner does not, and they give him permission much earlier than any other normal prisoner in a clear symptom of how the penitentiary system works. That's why you have to try to take this whole experience with a sense of humor.
Since I sometimes put out the fire with gasoline, I had the bad idea of telling the psychologist in the interview that all professions were respectable, that psychology was also another disease that was cured with time, such as beauty and age. That in life no one was more than anyone.
My brilliant words led me to the Apache module. I have a bad habit and it is to put nicknames: it is a survival mechanism that I have supported with humor. The module was so dangerous that I put the Apache one on it, and it was a bit creepy. Spears were made with brooms, weapons were made with anything.
They open the barriers and they released me in a module and I went out to the patio… That was a mix between The Walking Dead and Torrente.
I have a virtue or privilege and that is that I have never been afraid. And the truth is that not being afraid can often be reckless, because it makes you a bit reckless, but it served as a mechanism to be able to have fun in such a privileged place.
As soon as I went out to the patio, I saw a prisoner come towards me: I thought: “look how good, a seer who comes to receive me”. Seer not because he read the letters, but because he only had two teeth: "What about you?", He said, "if you buy me a Pepsi, here you won't have NAIDE." Naide ?. "What luck!" I thought. Bi-dente and professor.
The truth is that without realizing it I was immersed in the inter-prison championship of verb modes and tenses: NAIDE, SOFALES, LICOTERO, POLIGANO, COCRETA. I'm not going to fool you. Since I've been there, I have a richer vocabulary, more dialectical capacity ... Apart from knowing how to dismantle alarms, I know how to steal wallets and open locks, and I know the routes by boat and then by car of drugs from South America to Europe. Come on, I'm reinserted and I'm a guy with influences ...
How To Fit In Jail
Most of us usually set goals and life plans for ourselves, but life always comes and changes them. We do not choose the circumstances that happen to us in life, but we do choose what to do. And what we do is what we are, what defines us.
What we cannot allow ourselves is that an adverse situation makes us change our way of thinking and acting. We have to be the ones who direct our life. Ultimately our mental strength.
One of the ways we have to grow and evolve in life is to accept what happens to us, even if it is unfair or fair, what difference does it make! It is more difficult to accommodate the unfair:
Is a disease fair? Not.
A traffic accident? Neither.
The sudden death of a loved one? Less.
Go to jail for a false report or for a trial with all kinds of irregularities? Less than less.
We forget very often that the wheel of life turns and tomorrow it can be anyone's turn. Let's stop being hypocritical and let's be honest and clear. Let them tell me who has not committed a crime in his life.
Who has not driven drunk?
Who has not signed a paper on behalf of a family member?
Who has not bought in the top blanket?
Who does not carry something pirate: clothes, a watch, a bag ...?
Who has not downloaded music from the emule?
Who does not know anyone who has an undocumented person who cares for a relative?
Who doesn't try to pay the plumber or mechanic in black?
Who does not try to defraud the Treasury (because more than 25% of the money that circulates in Spain is black)?
The list of illegalities that a normal person can commit can be endless. Nobody imagines the acquaintances that you may find in jail, normal people who have not been able to pay child support or a fine from the Court on time. And, in addition, of all kinds of professions: doctors, lawyers, politicians, vagrants (that vagabond is another respectable profession).
Enter prison without fear
Few people are prepared to go to jail and even fewer have developed the capacity to lose, to fail, to tolerate, to be frustrated.
It is easy to fit the good, the awards, the medals, the applause. Always having a good mood, whatever happens, makes us strong, different or special, even if others want to see us as immature. Realities are like asses: everyone has their own.
After hearing and seeing all kinds of irregularities in my trial and an illustrious magistrate sentenced me to four years in prison plus VAT, all that remained was for me to accept the new situation and take it with a sense of humor. So instead of thinking "WHY ME?", I decided to think: "WHY NOT ME?". Why be a penalties, if the penalties do not tax the Treasury? We will take the opportunity to grow.
I realized that it was an opportunity to continue to strengthen myself as a person. Because you will be with me that you grow more in prison than on a cruise ship. We all prefer the cruise. Many times we do not choose the circumstances that happen to us in life, but we can choose what to do with them.
Well that. Since we are here, let's take this circumstance as an opportunity to grow as a person. One of the decisions I made before entering prison was to draw up a plan to take advantage of the time and the opportunity to be there and thus be able to get the most out of that situation.
Who knows if with a blog (like this) or a book. Or who knows if in order to prepare normal people to enter jail without fear. Leaning on a plan makes you go to jail with a different mentality from the outset: knowing that you are not going to waste time, because, as I don't know who says, "losing your life is inevitable, wasting time is unforgivable."
