Recently, a severe issue of "possible" bullying resulting in suicide has hit my hometown quite hard. Since school has started in late August, 6 suicides of current or past students has hit my Alma mater. Yes, you all read that right, 6 SUICIDES. Dont know about any of you reading this but to see a school district deal with basically one a month since the school year started is scary and unbelievably overwhelming to fathom. I reached out to some counselors and even the Superintendent there as I felt that maybe, just maybe, my words would be able to reach at least 1 child, preventing yet another catastrophe. I urge anyone who is dealing with these thoughts or if you know someone who might be to reach out and ask for help. Maybe read this and hopefully it will give you, your child, brother, sister, or best friend a chance; a second chance. Here is what I said:
To say I know what you are going through would be a lie. To say that I truly understand how you are feeling daily would be yet another. However, I can tell you that I’ve been where you are. I’ve been a pre-teen, a teenager, a senior getting ready to graduate. I’ve been a kid with acne, with glasses, the “wrong” clothes…I’ve been there. I’ve been dumped, picked on, humiliated, lied to, cheated on. I’ve had my “friends” turn their back on me, not asked to a dance or prom. I’ve lost the “big game”, failed a quiz/test or two (or more) and didn’t get picked first or even at all for a team. Through it all, I’m still here…
I’m here working my day job…not even thinking back to the days of school. I’m still here, associating myself with very few of the hundreds of people I went to school with, grew up with. I’m still here, getting ready to go home to my wife and children after a long day of work, to enjoy my toddler’s laughter and smiles, to kiss my wife as I walk in the door. You see, I lived at an age like you, went through a lot of what you went through and I’M STILL HERE!
Life can suck; no doubt about it. Take it from someone who’s been where you are; life does get harder, but it gets better in the same breath. Hear me out.
School life and growing up as an adolescent can be a struggle…kids are cruel, failures happen, boyfriends/girlfriends come and go as do friends but as an adult, that all goes away. The worries of trying to dress in the latest styles, gone. The worry to be in the “in” crowd…no more. The “terror” of not getting to wear that one person’s jersey on Friday at school…yep that too goes away. All the things that are so traumatic now in your life, will be faded memories of “why did that bother me?” years from now.
My life now and what will be yours in your not too distant future, is full of magical moments that you will forever cherish, and forever hold on to. The birth of your children. The marriage to your spouse. Graduating college. Landing that first big “real” job. Buying your first house. All the shit you deal with now while growing up simply doesn’t hold a candle to what is ahead. My mother told me when I was your age, “enjoy your high school days, you’ll miss them when they’re gone”. In a way, I do. I didn’t have the crazy amount of responsibility I have today. I must support my family. Make sure there is food on the table, heat for the house, bills are paid and all the “fun” of being an adult. That’s all I truly miss, honestly. You too will be the same way, I promise.
Now, I tell you all this and seemingly scare you to ever want to grow up because I care. I want you to understand that life doesn’t give everyone a trophy. You won’t always land the job you want. You won’t always have the perfect relationship with your spouse, but that’s life. Life is a wonderful thing to enjoy and I encourage you all to live. Live life to the fullest and NEVER take anything for granted.
Put the cell phones down. Stay off social media…no one really looks at you any different if you have 10000 friends or 8 on FB. Who really cares if your post wasn’t retweeted 100 times in the last 10 minutes? I don’t and you shouldn’t either. Is it really that big of a deal if someone unfriends you or doesn’t comment on what you had for dinner while out with your peeps? I can tell you the short answer is NO. Yet, that seems to be the big thing for you guys and separates you and me. I didn’t have all the social media and “lovely” comments you guys see and seek on a daily (minute by minute is my guess) basis. But the point is simply, who cares? Why get caught up in all that when there is SOOOO much more to offer you in a world that is right in front of you…all you have to do is lift your head from a 5-inch screen and you will see it.
Love each other and be kind. I can’t express that enough. It goes so far in this world. Simple acts of kindness will be replicated a million times over but it must start with one person. Be that person- you’ll be much happier. Be the person who stands up for something instead of sitting on your “I think I deserve the world to be handed to me on a silver platter just because” ass. Actually, talk to one another. Get in trouble for passing a note…some of the older teachers and monitors would be astounded to even see that. Write a love note to someone, instead of using your phone and emojis. That’s what life is and what living it will do. It’ll make you feel accomplished…make you feel powerful! I encourage all of you to go 1 day without your phone. Without a computer unless using for an assignment. You will see that the world won’t collapse around you just because you were away from social media.
I’m sorry this was so long, so drawn out. I wanted to get the point across that no matter what you are dealing with today, it most likely will be a forgotten memory later. That what really matters is in the future. I want you all to be able to see that, to feel that. I want you all to be able to see your future spouse standing across the room and lock eyes with them. I want you all to be able to hold your newborn child and feel the unconditional love that moment brings. Most importantly, I want you all to know that you are loved and thought of on more levels than you’ll ever comprehend.
Please, I ask each of you to push forward, be strong and stand up for others when no one else will. I swear on everything I hold true to my heart and soul that you will sincerely thank me and love every second of the journey.
Be good, be well and know that you are ALWAYS loved and indeed an important part of life, not just your own but for so many others in the world now and in the future.
Everyone in the 
