As I am reading your comment I cry because remembering the small good things she used to do is just overwhelming. She also used to buy me good food in the pension day, it was the only day when she allowed herself to splurge for my own comfort.
There were a lot of things left unsaid between us and this somehow makes me painfully ruminate. I don't know...this is my first experience of grieving for a lost loved one. I just do not know how to solve this inner conflict and I try to take it day by day.
Thank you for this supportive comment!