Girl. I applaud you. I have read this and I have a lot of appreciation for what you have shared.

Very interesting to notice than some men who beat their kids lay no finger on the mother right? I did research and noticed that many of those men have trauma and anger issues about their mothers. And generational trauma confirms how they can't beat their mother and they have the emotional need to respect the wife as to not beat her , they discard that anger on the kids. Later in life , if the child becomes an adult and does not process trauma, they end up discarding anger onto their partners. Subconsciously they try to punish their mother. Many are clueless about this though.I have read so many books and I was blown away to put the pieces of the puzzle together and understand that violent abusive men have an issue with their mothers and in fact they are helpless obedient little boys emotionally while they turn into monsters towards the helpless. It is fascinating yet very few men realize where the anger comes from. A son watching their father beat them up has no idea that the grandmother is the issue and they accumulate anger on the mother who does nothing. This little boy grows up and learned that how he should cope with anger is through beating, just like his father did unto him. It is amazing how generational trauma is passed down. If men would be taught how to finally speak up in front of theie mothers a lot of wifes or children would stop getting verbally, physically and emotionally abused as the problem must be solved from the root.

Mental health was not such a big deal for our parents back in their days. Only now we can realize if some have been suffering of mental issues. This does not excuse theie behaviour but it can help your healing.

It was very brave of you to share this.It shows that you are on your path to healing. If you can process and heal from family trauma then you will attract the right partner and not repeat mistakes. Because having such a childhood can prime any woman to believe that love is pain.
I admire your healing journey, I hope it will inspire more to liberate themselves from the shackles of a troubled childhood. God bless you🤗