This is partially because all humans are liars. Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, everyone lies. I have a friend who swears up and down that she’s never lied, and I want to remind her of all the times she’s lied to me and then admitted to it later. Evidently, it’s not a lie or a false statement if you’re willing to rescind it? Perhaps we can then call it “justification” for all sorts of reasons. The lie becomes easier to speak if you think you’re doing it for the right purpose.
As a child, I was the teller of tales and when you’re a little, people chuckle. My childhood is a blur. I don’t remember much aside from being shipped off to a school when my parents divorced. I discovered that I was adopted on my 7th birthday. The years between 7 and 9 are lost, however I do recall sitting across from a priest when I was about 8 telling him that I could talk to angels when my mother brought me in for an exorcism. He was the first person who validated me, though. He believed me. He also gave me a book about Joan of Arc, told me she was my patron saint, and to stop telling people I could see dead people and angels because I was scaring everyone. Then off I went to some bizarre place in Michigan and then, Canada.
[My granddaughter, who does remind me of ... well, me]
From 10 through 11 was a living hell of foster homes, and then eventually I found something solid in the highly dysfunctional home of my Mormon cousins between 12 to 18. I was still beaten and raped, but like any good Mormon girl, I didn’t tell anyone. In my experience thus far, no one wanted truth. Yet.
I developed a very deep faith in God when I was a teenager, though. I wrote in my journals as if I were writing letters to God. To me he was a favorite uncle or wise, elderly friend who loved me. The things I saw in dreams and visions were enhanced by my vivid imagination and I had peace. My religion gave me strong boundaries and I felt safe, even when I lived in a home where safety wasn’t guaranteed.
I left the Mormon stronghold of terror when I was 18. My cousins were horrible examples of the religion, because as a whole, I will admit to being at peace when I was with other members besides the family I lived with. It wasn’t the people who I shared the faith with that terrorized me, it was the doctrine of an eternal separation from the only peace I ever knew, God. The teachings and foundation of the LDS Church prioritized “right thought, right speech, right action” more than anything, and while I had a different experience behind the walls of the home I lived in, I believed in the man who saw the angels, Joseph Smith. I knew in my heart that he’d had an experience, because I did too. His descriptions were spot on with my own, and you cannot lie about something so incredible, can you?
In the forty years since I left that Church and tried to find my own religion, I discovered that it is a common thing for people to lie about God. About angels. Ghosts. Monsters. Aliens. And their neighbors too.
One was about Sammy Hagar coming to the tiny motel I worked at when I was in my 30’s and my kids still don’t trust a damn word I say now (choices have consequences) and the other was “I don’t love you anymore.”
I have not embellished or lied about the paranormal, supernatural or alien experiences I have endured.
“Endured” is a good word. If anything, I’ve filtered and even censored myself during interviews and retelling of events. Many of my encounters are horrifying and there are some that defy words.
I’m not common, and I’ve given up attempting to find the niche I fit in to. I’m an expert at very little beyond knowing without a doubt that when we experience physical death, the universe of possibilities is endless. My authentic experiences with nonphysical reality are too numerous to chart or count anymore.
It was never my plan to become a qualified psychic counselor, and in the past I’ve attempted to convince myself that I was mentally ill. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) assured me I was not. Perhaps I shouldn’t have listened to him?
(If you cannot read the sarcasm in that, adjust your sarcasm meters…)
People such as Acharya (D.M. Murdock) and Dick Sutphen guided me personally. I miss them both, very much. I’ve had other teachers, quiet and less public people who have guided me through the perils of being me. Perhaps the greatest of those is Kathy Lynn Douglass, a sagacious weirdo in the wilds of Alaska who is still the smartest woman I’ve ever heard of, known and loved.
In 2009 I was ordained as a Melchizedek Priest by Dan Chesbro, and in 2010 I became attuned as a Reiki Master/Teacher in Salem, Massachussets by a former witch, turned Buddhist who learned Reiki to heal her brain cancer. In 2011 I studied Spiritual Response Therapy from Robert Detzler, who told me to dump everything he was teaching others and just do what I was doing. In his words, I didn’t “need all the charts and numbers.” He was the second person in my life who validated me as authentic and gifted, not just with his words, but his heart and spirit.
Becoming certified as a Spiritual Life Coach through Fowler Wainwright seemed the right direction to go in 2012 and then the Heart|Math Institute gave me the equivalent of a Master’s Degree in 2021 for class work as a Trauma Recovery Specialist, but in spite of spending over 8 years at Universities and Colleges I haven’t obtained my BA in anything, so I side stepped the traditional route and continue studying what I want, when I want.
[an A.I. created version of what "older me" would look like]
Tarot is my oracle of choice when I’m in session with clients and I’ve created my own oracle I call “Spiritus Mundi” as a result of studying Jungian Psychology for most of my adult life. My tarot deck, “Brigid’s Aether” is now out of print, I have a few decks left I give to friends and clients who are studying the suits as represented by the I Ching. The Tao of Psychology by Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen was life changing for me, and when I attended her classes in the mid 80’s I realized that synchronicity was at the beginning of everything I needed to understand about the nature of divine existence.
This history has been a fast forward through many years of raising a family while being pulled into the abyss of enlightenment so I will say that the most important element of my practice is prayer. Talking to that Divine Essence beyond our knowing has been a huge factor in my ongoing desire to remain as clear as possible in this fog of humanity and being human. My mission statement came to me through The White Light Express, and promoting the power of positive, focused intention.
You are not alone. And I can help you make sense of the senselessness.
“Do not assume that the Universe operates like humankind, because it does not.” Gary Zukav
Thank you for reading, I've put this here because it's a post off my website that will not be available after I'm "gone" and I wanted a short synopsis of how I became what I am long after I am no longer.
My kids and their children too, deserve a legacy of some sort, and this is why I'm grateful for SilverBloggers, HIVE and the ongoing preservation of our thoughts. This content was written by Me, and the images are mine.
