As I reflect back on those times in life where I, most of the time, felt a sense of meaninglessness towards it all, I can now see a sort of story line, a slow but sure developing plot filled with little clues, cues and insights that have led me to where I'm standing today.
We have as a terrestrial species been gifted with the faculties of reason and discrimination. With the ability to take stock of our life stories and observe where we may be cheating ourselves in some way at living our lives from a place of true purpose and meaning, we are free to certain degrees to make the needed adjustments to make radical shifts for ourselves which have the ability to spread out to change the lives of everyone that encounter.
At that epic moment when we have at last discovered that we, as intelligent and truly gifted human beings, have something to give on this Earth, it is then that we have surely transcended the perceived limitations that held us frozen by the wayside of a truly expansive and purposeful life.
Life in general may never really be fully understood; the mysteries and uncertainties abound appear to be in service to overwhelm us at times. We too often become lost, feeling directionless within the deluge of stimuli that's thrown at us from multiple directions day after day.
That moment in which I found myself trying to answer The Question, ended up being a major turning point in my life. In the face of the stark reality that I was born, am still living, and will die, (maybe sooner than I think!), the question arose:
For us to really "get" that our lives are not a dress rehearsal for some fairy tale saving grace or promise land IS the game changer that changes it all. It is the realization that will no longer support a life of entropy and meaninglessness. It is the realization that breaks open the gates of love for all life, including our own.
Much emphasis is placed on finding one's purpose in life these days. I can remember being in a rather deep struggle once in attempting to find just where my own path began and how to walk it. In the end, I discovered that to simply immerse myself into that which lifted or energized me in some way, and then trust, that by devoting myself to that which just felt good, that I would be naturally led towards a life well worth living and being happy in it.
No doubt or struggle required.
We could go as far to say that there is a sort of devotion even, towards living in a way that truly nurtures and frees us in ways, and the excuses for not living a life as such just end when we have fully recognized both the perceived limitations, and the possibilities of this existence.
I can now see how what appears to have been a rather miserable life for myself, was actually just another story being played out that led me deeper into understanding myself and the world in a more complete way.
Each moment of joy, and each moment of suffering offered some precious gift of knowledge or understanding, and when fully understood as such, allowed me to grow and evolve beyond what I had previously known to be possible.
Photo: Annie Spratt
