I used to get all these hits on my online dating accounts. I don't know wtf happened, it's like everyone disappeared.
I can't figure out why.
It couldn't possibly be the three pictures of me hanging out with crows on my profile.
It couldn't possibly be that I linked my crow instagram account to my profile.
It couldn't possibly be because I mention crows at least three times in my profile.
No way.
Everyone LOVES crows! They are a completely and totally understood and cherished creature. There's not a person out there that thinks crows are evil, that they represent evil, that they have dark souls if they even have souls at all and if they do they probably stole them from innocent christian babies.
Look at this adorable soul-stealing baby crow.
Nobody in the world thinks crows are annoying, either. Everyone loves their beautiful songbird voices, the way they can tear up your garbage or your day lilies when you're not looking. Everyone I know admires the size, frequency, and prevalence of their poops.
Don't worry, baby. Your tiny squirty kidpoops will be giant crowsplats soon enough.
And nobody would ever consider hunting crows, either. It's not legal in all 49 of the continental United States. Asshole parents don't let their asshole kids run around shooting crows out of trees within the city limits of Portland with their goddam pop guns, either.
I'll never let anyone shoot you, baby. They'd have to shoot me, first.
Baby, I think I'm misunderstood, too.
All I want is someone who will love me for being buddies with you guys. To admire with me all the amazing things about you to which 99.99% of the world population is ignorant. I want to watch your brains work and your families grow for generations. To learn your language. Become fluent.
Baby, you're one of my teachers, did you know that?
If none of those shallow swipers out there can take even a second to understand that, fine. We don't want them fouling up our thing.
This is my entry for the #monomad challenge, held daily in the Black and White Community.
Give it a try.
CrowTube Channel
Crowstagram
NFT Crowroom
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All the stuff (pictures, words, etc.) I put in this post and any of my other posts is mine (unless otherwise stated) and can't be used by anyone else unless I say it's ok.
BABY DADDY
