Hi Friends,
One of the things that I feel fortunate about here on Steemit, is that we are mostly void of hateful, trolling and sexist remarks. I honestly thing the ability to flag with monetary repercussions helps to keep that kind of thing at bay.
That being said – it still happens from time to time. It was actually the strangest thing, a few months ago I was getting really rude, sexists comments a LOT… out of nowhere! I didn’t have any before that time, and I haven’t had much since then. I’m not sure what was happening in the universe a few months ago, but for some reason I seeing a lot of this kind of behavior.
What Were the Comments About?
The majority of these comments were basically things like, “Your content is horrible and terrible and the only reason people are voting for you, is because you are a cute girl”. There were different, sometimes more vulgar iterations of this statement – but you get the gist.
The more typical female response is to laugh it off and not engage because we don’t’ want to start a “scene” or get into an argument. I do think there is a time and place to pick your battles... but I decided to actually stand up for myself to a few of these guys and let them know that comments like that were not just disrespectful to me as a woman, but even more so as a content creator.
What was my response?
Instead of just laughing it off… I said something along these lines. “Your right, it probably has nothing to do with the fact that I have spent hours on this platform every day for the last X months. Or that I am constantly improving my content, or that I’m building relationships and community. Your right… It’s ONLY because I have tits.”
Needless to say… my comments weren’t very well received and I got into some discussions with these guys.
Thanks to the Guys who Stood Up For Me
There were a handful of awesome guys here on the platform that really stood for up. They happened to notice my interactions and left me really encouraging notes saying to ignore those idiots because they were just jealous or reacting out of their own insecurities. This meant the WORLD to me and I was so touched to see these great men step in and provide support.
I debating adding in the names of the guys who I felt really supported by - but wasn't sure if they would want the attention. You know who you are... so thank you and keep doing what you are doing.
What I was Hoping to Get out of these Interactions
My MAIN goal with standing up to these guys, was to plant a seed. I wasn’t expected them to hear my words right away and wasn’t surprised when their responses were immediately defensive. Many of them came back with even ruder responses. I was hoping that maybe over time, they would internalize my words and start to re-evaluate. Or maybe the next time someone else stands up to them, it will make them think about what they are saying, and the negative impact it was having.
To my Shock… It Actually Worked
I recently had one of these guys send me a message saying that he’s been thinking about what I said and has felt pretty guilty the last few months. He apologized and we were able to talk through it. Now we are actually friends and have been chatting! I have SO much respect for this individual to not only be conscious enough to evaluate his actions, but actually have the guts to come back and apologize.
I was incredibly touched by his response, because it gives me hope that maybe standing up for myself IS making a difference.
Sharing My Story to Encourage Other Women to Stand Up for Themselves Too
I feel like most of the time, we as women don’t feel like there is any positive results from standing up to these sexist comments. It is honestly a lot of work to get involved in these conversations – and we usually get nothing but negative, defensive response back. So why bother?
Because it plants a seed.
Maybe after two or three women tell them that this kind of behavior is not appreciated – maybe it actually will encourage them to change.
Not Everyone Has a Positive Experience
I want to point out that not every woman who stands up for herself like this finds support. I have heard from quite a few women on this platform that they have felt harassed not only in comments, but in more private discord settings. That’s why I thought sharing my story was even more important. We seem to only hear the bad and I wanted to show that it is possible to stand up for yourself and see a positive outcome.
I got support from a few awesome guys who noticed these exchanges, and having that guy come back to apologize was a really awesome moment. We CAN make a difference and even if we don’t see the positive results right away… those seeds are still getting planted.
Thanks for Reading/Watching
I just wanted to say thanks for creating such a safe space where I feel comfortable talking about and sharing some of my experience. I really hope that this encouraged a few women to consider standing up for themselves instead of brushing these situations off. I also hope that this inspired some of the men out there to stand up and say something if you see this kind of behavior going on. The men who did that for me really showed their integrity and character – of which I have the utmost respect.
Thanks for watching or reaching this! Love you guys!
XO, Lea
My video is at DLive