Face Me I Face You Apartment Embarrassment
Nigerians should understand what I meant by the word face me I face you life. It's not a life one should live as it is full of frustration and the likes as well as heartbreak. Nowadays, it is called face me I slap you.
My definition of face me I face you apartment goes thus: It is an apartment with either one room and without a parlor or a room and parlor alone but with a public toilet and kitchen. Those living in the same compound use the same toilet and the same kitchen. So, everyone has to know whether you cook or not.
My friend who lived innk face me, I face you life has a story to tell. I'm pretty sure that anyone living in this kind of situation must have one or several stories to tell.
Tega has been with his parents his whole life until he gathered some money to rent a face me I face you apartment. It was just a room without a parlor apartment. He has three neighbors whose wives are always at home. Their husbands always go out to search for daily bread while their wives will be at home gossiping about bachelors like Tega.
One day Tega went to the market to buy fish to prepare some melon soup where he met them seated outside trying hard to know who he had bought. He went to the kitchen to cook and immediately one of them rushed to the kitchen just to see what he had to prepare. After much research, they finally got to know what he was cooking. They began to say to themselves that " Some people do not know how to eat good food whereas they have the opportunity to." Tega was not ready to say a word but knew they were referring to him. His silence and facial look sent something strange to them which made them keep their mouths shut.
Tega was angry but could not say anything to someone's wife.
One fateful day, the one close to Tega went to the kitchen to cook. It was just like a coincidence that Tega had to go to the kitchen to warm his soup. When he got to the kitchen, this woman was shocked to see Tega as she only sliced some onion and poured in some pepper into ordinary water. She did not know that Tega was watching her. When he noticed this, he immediately entered the kitchen and this woman was shocked. This means that she has been cooking soup without fish but only tried to deceive us through the aroma coming out from the onion in the pot. She could not say a word and ever since that moment, she became mute and was never seen outside again.
The two gossipers were seated trying to gossip about Tega again just because of his girlfriend who asked him. He was inside with his girl where these two women gathered once again and were waiting for this girl to come out of the house. One of them came to Tega's door to knock unjustly. She has nothing to say but just gossip. Tega did not open his door, instead waited for one more knock. After five minutes, she knocked again and this time Tega opened the door and she was sneaking shamefully. He could not hold it but talked back to her. She was so ashamed of herself and ever since that moment, they could not try that nonsense again.
Tega said again that there was a time when went to the toilet to ease himself after eating some beans. He was pressed and rushed from where he went just to ease himself. On getting home, he met his other co-tenants on queue. He couldn't hold it and asked them to give him a chance but they refused. To cut it short, he wants to send those tenants away and has been looking for ways to. He quickly got a solution. He remembers that the gas in his stomach is mind blowing and so decided to release air from his anus. The air released came out just like rotten eggs. It filled up the empty space and diffused so fast into the lower concentrated area. This was how they immediately left the toilet holding their noses so tight. Tega managed to win them and even sent the one inside the toilet out without doubt.