Well, hello, again :3
I have a new song for you guys.
I've decided to write it not so much about Caligula...but more how he's what one imagines when thinking of the worst people can do. Especially those that could of done incredible things. If Caligula wasn't such an awful man, he could been remember fondly for the enormous changes and sophisticated alterations to the empire he could of made.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about dumb things I did when I was a kid. Typical stuff. Being a bad boyfriend...lying to my friends.
I have regrets. But I can only hold the suitcase of bricks that is guilt for so long before I remember something very important:
It doesn't matter. It was 2,000 - 4,000 days ago now, and if it weren't for the shitty things I did, I likely wouldn't of become the person I am today, and the person I'll be tomorrow. I feel like a much different person...and like I just..don't wish to do anyone any harm and that I'm ready to have healthy, honest relationships with people. I've made tremendous improvements over the last five years. And if I keep going in the direction I'm going in, anything is possible and I have a very bright future to look forward to, I hope.
Anxiety is apparently fear of the unknown. And sometimes I worry, the people from my past hate my fucking guts. I call myself all kinds of names in my head and think I'll rot in hell. And yet again, I'll realize these people have likely long forgotten those dumb things and realize something themselves: We were children.
We were teenagers. I knew better. But still, we were kids. Living in a Facebook tethered social system. And...we had access to so many things our parents didn't have. So, much like I've moved on, I pray these people have forgotten those chaotic times and are all happier people.
I hope this isn't just me telling myself these things so I can sleep at night. Who knows, really?
My goodness, what a rant. ,,,
Anyway, I suppose the hook will be something like "I'm gonna handle this shit like Caligula,"
I wanted to add piano, but my pianist friendo is busy this week. And I'm...just not fast enough to keep up with my other instruments, that I'm more skilled at.
I hope to have a second draft out sometime this autumn. Speaking of which, we are steadily approaching a lot of dead rockstar birthdays/death days. I feel more confident in my ability to produce, to where I'll feel more comfortable making covers of some of RocknRoll's best and brightest! Very exciting.
And we are getting closer to Xmas which means we are closer to an upgrade of musical things! Also very exciting~
Anywho..
I've gotta run, my dearest listeners.
I hope you liked the song.
Give your thoughts on what I've said or recorded, if you care to.
