I picked this topic to share with us because there have been some archaic thoughts about how husbands should be and how wives should be. Mentality and what we have been exposed to, like I always say, shapes our reality and to break free from this mental stronghold, we need to be exposed to new ways of seeing things and thinking.
This post addressed the emotional demand that women place on men. Men complain about their wife demanding too much attention, but it is expected for them to demand these things. Men need to be ready.
Our grandfathers survived it, our fathers survived, we will survive it too. - Leke Alder.
We won't only survive, we will enjoy the process because we have a better understanding. We are not defined by what the society says or how they laugh at us, but we are led with better understanding and appreciation for women.
This sounds funny but it is the truth:
”There are all those responsibilities of a husband no one warns you about. They are soft but it all adds up emotionally. They draw you down emotionally as a man. For instance, you have to help her do her zipper. Of course, she’s been doing her zipper before she ever met you but now you’re married, you’re a zipper! And yes, you have to notice she’s changed her hairstyle. And you have to commend it irrespective of your personal feeling about the hairstyle. If you make the mistake of complaining about the hairstyle you’re in for it. Not after she’s spent all that effort trying to look good for you!” - Leke Alder. (Unfortunately, I read this somewhere some time ago and I couldn't rightly state the source, but that was in Leke Alder’s voice).
In marriage, being sensitive to the needs of the other partner and doing the little as well as the basics goes a long way and it establishes a bond. As you are the zipper, you are also the unzipper. That’s one of the ways to do it better. Our fathers couldn't, because they felt their family members must not see them do that. It ‘degrades’ them, they would say. Women love appreciation.
Everything matters. Don’t expect her to bring the change for you after she comes back from the market. Tiny details matter. Give her attention, eat her food on time. Admire and commend her a lot and oh yes! We need to also develop the ability to take selfies. It’s funny, but it is true. Leke Alder said they might take up to 40 pictures and pick only 2, but then, we need to do it anyway. We are not to overlook all these seemingly tiny things. Never forget a wedding anniversary, and her birthday, if you do...oh well...
As husbands, we can’t fully know them until we reckon with their vanity and in all these little “troubles”, we learn perseverance and also have memories to chew on, in our old age.
As husbands, we need to learn how to take notice and also commend our women. We even need to learn the latest fashion trend. We need to do things to get them excited. You can't underestimate the extent to which they can go for you when they feel valued and loved.
We can always do it better. Whatever your heart tells you to do, which you know she would like, just go ahead and do it. Forget what the society says. We need to be better husbands and stop holding on to what people “might” say.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
