I took this photo not long ago. The first was a deer standing motionless, quietly, behind some fencing. At first glance, you see the fencing as a barrier – something that is restricting the deer in access to it's freedom of flight. But with additional thought, you realize that the fencing that restricts is also the fencing that protects.
This is how life works. We sometimes see barriers as walls; however, they are quite often the very barriers that allow us to feel safe, and grow. The everyday experience of life, many people misunderstand freedom, such as "I can do anything and everything I want." When we reflect on the statement "freedom" as defined above, it feels good - but it leads to chaos. Take, for example, living without a budget and spending on everything infinitely without limit, food, clothes, entertainment, etc. - "I have no limits," right?
While you are young, it feels great - until it doesn't feel great and reality sets in. Bills stack up, debt increases, and stress arises. Budgeting is limiting; however, it is not restricting. A budget is a personal fence - a fence that can protect your financial health, and allow you, one day, to create security.
The same can be said for time. A person's time gets fragmented and lost to social media, spontaneous outings, and casual distractions. Have you ever reached the end of your day, and said to yourself, "How could it be possible that I wasted the whole day?" Some people often see planned schedules and routines, such as having a job or school, or adhering to allowable use of a phone or computer, as restricting their freedom, when actually they bring structure their lives.
If you schedule time for work, time for learning, and time for your down time, you can set aside even more time for growth. By operating within time boundaries with consistency, you see the results you want.
Boundaries are also very important in the context of relationships. There are many people in the world who actively avoid saying "no" to requests of others as they feel responsible to someone else's disappointment.
For these people, just the thought of saying "no" can cause emotional exhaustion or worry to them. Learning to say "no" is one of the strongest personal fences, you will ever build. To say "no" is showing that you want to protect your energy for the things that matter most in your life. True friends, partners, and safe relationships respect your fences (aka boundaries). Discipline is also a fence. Think of exercise, studying, or trying to learn a new skill.
Achieving any of these pursuits, which might be intimidating to attain at first, might involve waking up sooner, dedicating practice time every day, or giving up enjoyable short-term pleasure. In the moment, it may suck; however, discipline is the fence that prevents laziness and inconsistent habit dismantling a person's future. Discipline is not denying yourself happiness; discipline is protecting the happiness that awaits you longer in the future.
When you step back and have a look around you may notice that fences exist everywhere in life. With fences, you have your outside fences: laws, rules, social norms; and your inside fences: habits, moral code, personal boundaries. The most interesting part is not if we have fences; rather if we see fences as enemies or our friends. When fences become your friends, being "restricted" or "limited" are less important than whichever direction you go in.
So before you come up with some form of hatred toward the fences in your life (which may consist of a budget, your "no" in a relationship, the discipline you set for yourself) - fences are not cages; fences are protection. Fences are direction. Fences are what give you enough protection so that you can grow silently, stronger, freer, and wiser.
