I don't know why I'm here - I kind of do, I know it's because I've reached a dead-end, Indianapolis, and the start-up crap, all of it was a giant fail. I suppose, if failure were a "prime skill set", I would now be the most sought after person, ever. Maybe that's exaggeration, maybe that's "negative ego inflation" as my ex-wife would say. Hard to know, at this moment I feel like a colossal loser - now, living in Seattle again, the home of egos so inflated that they are observable from nearby solar systems, my pathetic state seems quaint.
I was at a coffee shop just now - and the local gentry were having fun ridiculing the "fly overs" and all the stupid people who don't live in Seattle. "Half of Americans don't vote, how stupid is that?" - said the real estate developer who is preparing to go to Spokane today to shove multi-unit housing down the throats of a community that "doesn't get it", to quote him. I didn't vote for Trump - he is terrible. I didn't vote for Hillary - she is terrible. Bernie was a fake - he got a free home on "Fire Island" ... democracy? - gang warfare by other means. Voting, as such, is choosing to commit acts of violence, against your neighbor, by proxy ... I can't imagine anything more despicable and cowardly.
Listening to this pointless gibber-jabber, I came to realize that my situation, not at all unique, has no solution. I can interview for jobs here, perhaps get one - while living in a home, with a family member, where I feel like a leper, an outsider.
I can only dream of the collapse - which is coming.
America is an empire, Seattle is one of its most douchee imperial cities - empires have a limited "shelf life" ...
When this all comes crashing down, I will have a huge smile on my face - assuming I live long enough to see it. I'm not sick or dying or anything ... I'm just wondering how much more of this insane shit I can stomach.
But if I'm lucky ...
If I'm truly blessed ...
I will have the joy of seeing those overly inflated egos, self-absorbed, filled with clap-trap and undo importance, watching them wail and moan and gnash their teeth as their make believe house-flipping hellish pursuits come crashing down around their puffy jackets, egg-white breakfast sandwiches, used VOLVOs, and value village slacks.
That is the only joy worth living for now ...
The joy of watching these pricks feel the pain they so willing project onto humanity - so their fashionable home can be "worth" $1.5 million.
(peace)
