When a couple walk down the aisle and tie the knot, they start with love. However, the marriage life may change the love to like, like to dislike, dislike to hatred. People forgot about the vows when they got married, forgot about the love they had for each other. No matter what made them change, ethically, cheating is not right and unacceptable.
夫妻能够走进结婚殿堂，大多数情况下是以爱开始的。可是，婚后生活让不少人由爱转为喜欢，由喜欢转为不爱，由不爱转为讨厌，由讨厌转为恨。他们忘了结婚时的誓言，忘了相爱的理由。但不管是什么原因让他们改变，从道德上讲，出轨总是不对也不能接受的。
If you want to destroy your significant other half, cheating would be the most harmful action and could be detrimental. For whatever reasons, if the love no longer exists, you’d rather choose to divorce than using cheating as a means of revenge unless you want to destroy your other half.
夫妻之间最大的伤害就是一方的出轨。不管是什么原因，如果真的觉得感情不再，与其离婚也不应该以出轨的行为来伤害和报复。
Many people maintain the broken marriage just because of their children. But they never thought that actually, it would hurt their child more. First of all, your child won’t be happy growing up in that type of family. And one day, your child will grow up and become an adult, they will get to know love better. They may feel guilty if they found out that they are the one whom prevented their parents from finding their own happiness. And some may even lose their confidence in marriage.
很多人为了孩子，夫妻之间已经没有了感情，却还勉强在一起，可是他们没想到，他们的委屈其实对孩子也是个伤害。 孩子在那种氛围的家庭里成长是不会快乐的。孩子有长大的一天。长大后，他们会更懂得爱情，他们会觉得是他们耽误了父母各自寻找幸福的选择，他们会自责，有的甚至会失去婚姻的信心。
There are people cheating because they feel bored. They don’t have proper dialog and communication between them. but they also don’t want to get divorced. Some of them try to find comforting from 3rd party outside. It could happen to one of the couple or both. For this type of couple, there are still love in their marriage. But they couldn’t find the right way to communicate and understand with each other. They may not have had thought how this could affect their marriage. Once a cheater, forever a cheater. How could you expect the other one to treat you the same if they found out? Even if they may choose to forgive, there is a scar in their heart, they will no longer be the same. It’s just like a hidden bomb in the mind, it will explode any time, anything could have triggered the explosion.
很多人由于精神的空虚而出轨，夫妻间无法进行正常的沟通，但是他们也不想离婚，所以借由第三方来慰籍心灵上的空虚。这可能是一方也可能是双方。 这种夫妻，他们其实还是有感情基础的。只是，由于长期无法进行心灵的沟通，导致精神层面的空虚就到外面找刺激和安慰。 可是他们没想到，这样对一方和双方都是很大的伤害。如果是一方又被发现的话，作为另一方由于爱之深就会责之切。 这样的后果可能会摧毁对方。让对方一辈子无法从阴影中走出。最后的结果要不就是离婚，要不就是勉强继续过，但对方已经不再是原来的那个，因为心已经变了，生出芥蒂，就看以后在什么时候会爆发了。
There are couples whom don’t live together. They have both have someone else in their life, but they still maintain current marriage. I don’t get this at all. I heard in China, it has become a very popular phenomenon.
也有不少夫妻，双方长期没有在一起，一方或双方都各自找人，可是还是维系着现有的婚姻关系，在一起的时候，他们还是夫妻，道别后就各自过自己的第三生活。我始终无法理解他们的这种做法，纯粹是肉体上的需求吗？对于第三方，不知道他们的立场如何？ 听说这种夫妻关系在中国打工者里还是挺普遍的- 第三夫妻。真是可悲可怜。
What’s marriage? it’s a bind that is mutually abide by the couple. If there is no love, why not break the contract and give both freedom to pursue their new love? Cheating is just not the answer. Cheating is the poison to marriage. I discussed marriage cheating with my husband before seriously. He said if it happened between us, he would not be able to face me, and he would choose to leave. Likewise, I have no tolerance in cheating as well. I am glad we have some mutual standing. We agreed that if one day, we love each other no more, we would be honest and tell each other and we will never cheat on each other. But we will do our best to not let it happen. This is why we keep open and candid communication every day. We talk thing through and don’t let it slips the night. As otherwise, it could grow bigger and eventually becomes too late to handle.
婚姻的含义是什么？ 婚姻是双方共同遵守的一个契约。 如果感情不再，为什么不直接打破这契约，还各自一个自由，一个可以追寻新的幸福的机会？出轨根本就不是答案。 婚姻中的出轨是对婚姻的玷污。我就出轨的问题还特地和我老公讨论过。他说如果事情发生在我们身上，他是万万无法再面对我，他会选择离开。 而对于我，我也是断断无法接受的。很高兴的是在我个人的家庭里，我们有了这个共识。我们约定，如果哪天我们不再爱对方，一定要告诉对方。但是，我们会努力不让这个假设发生，这也是我们每天保持沟通的一个主要原因。沟通是为了增加夫妻共识和感情。沟通是为了把不愉快的事当天就讲出来，大家一起剖析，一起解决，而不会把不愉快带到第二天，那样的话，雪球是会越滚越大，大到最后无法支撑发生雪崩，一切太晚无法挽回。
I am not love expert, but I live my life every day. You can choose what kind of life you want to live on, happy or sadness. It has nothing to do with finance. If one day, there is no love between us, I would let go. Child should never be the reason to maintain broken marriage. As long as you communicate it clearly with your child, let them know that even if parents don’t live together any more, they still love them the same. Your significant other half is the one whom will grow old with you, whom will go through all the thick and thin, good and illness. It’s critical that you find the right people in this short life journey. If it’s too late to save the marriage, why not let go and bless, allowing both to continue to pursue their life and happiness?
我不是爱情专家，但是，日子每天我都在品。要过什么样的日子是自己选择的。每天是要开心地过，还是要痛苦地过，是可以选择的。这和金钱没有关系。如果不幸夫妻真的走到无法挽回的一天，我的选择会是放手。孩子根本就不应该成为夫妻双方决定是否离婚的主要顾虑。只要把事情和孩子说清楚，让他们自己哪怕父母没有生活在一起，他们都还是爱着自己的。孩子并没有因为父母不住在一起就失去他们。真正陪自己到老的是自己的另一半。只有找对另一半才可能一起相濡以沫，一起携手走过风雨，陪着慢慢到老。如果现在的婚姻真的已经无法挽留，为什么不放开心胸，选择放手，趁着时间还来得及，再次各自去寻找自己的方向呢？
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