Hello, it is weekend again, and thanks to sir 
So for this week's writing suggestion, sir galenkp gave four different prompts, and the one that got me interested is the thought of being a porn star for the weekend.
If I tell someone that I want to be a video pornstar, they will probably think that I just want to fulfill my sexual desires. Well, kind of. But they are wrong.
This may sound funny but for a long time, I admire male porn actors for their huge and gigantic swords good facial features, great biceps and abdominal muscles, sex appeal, and attractive posture. They seem the standard of beauty that society built over the years, especially in my generation where people often look at physical appearance.
For years, I am insecure about myself. I feel that I am not attractive enough to be noticed by other people since I didn’t have an attractive body and I didn’t have the looks. Some will say it's not on the looks but on how you present yourself to others. But how will I present myself if I already know that I am unpresentable?
I always try to gaslight myself thinking that my time will come soon and everyone will witness my massive glow-up. However, it's hard that over the course of time I am slowly becoming self-aware that I am just trying to comfort myself with lies.
Oops, enough with the self-pity, lol. That’s just my way of confronting myself and accepting the harsh reality. On other hand, I keep on improving the other aspect of myself and learning to be a better person than anyone else. I will use that as my forte to feel good and confident.
Why did I choose to be a pornstar this weekend?
Well, if I will have the chance to be a pornstar, why not? Given that I became attractive and bulky and someone discovered and invited me to do pornography, I will use it as a chance to feel good about myself. I am already tired of feeling awful every time I look in the mirror naked. I am tired of thinking that something is wrong with my body. And I think that being a pornstar will grant me such body validation that I am longing for a long time. Even though I’ll be a pornstar just for this weekend, I will savor every moment and treasure the feeling of being confident with my physique. I might post some thirst trap on Instagram or invite my crush to have a one-night stand to have some fun.
Aside from having good physical features, the one thing that made me want to be a porn actor is the money. Especially at present, I am a broke college student and I need a job that won’t occupy too much academic time but will supply me with a solid income. According to what I've searched, the salaries of male porn actors in the US alone range from $10,014 to $156,406, and if I will convert that to pesos that’s around P580,000 to P9,048,000. With that amount, maybe I can start my own business and invest in stocks and government bonds so I won’t be pressured later in life because I somehow secured my finances. I can also use that money to invest in myself; buy clothes, skincare, etc.
Hays, it's really nice to build imaginary scenarios in my head. Aside from it being free, it helps you to temporarily escape reality. Thanks, sir
If everyone reached this part, I hope y'all enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading :))