I was thinking about expanding perspective earlier today. There is an ongoing situation with one of my family members that I avoid getting involved with because it seems toxic and harmful to me. I do my best to avoid being judgmental and trying to tell them what they should be doing, but the thoughts obviously go through my mind. Regardless, there was a new development in the situation that seems even more absurd to me today, but thinking about it while also accepting that I don't know how it plays out in the grand scheme of things gave me some interesting food for thought about expanding perspective.
It seems to me that at some point we can become aware enough of the limitations of our own perspective that we feel no need to intervene in other's lives. I've already learned from experience that it usually does little good and often just makes people upset when I start being judgmental of things, especially when they already know themselves they shouldn't be doing whatever self destructive behavior I would be pointing out, but this further development really got me thinking about the limitation of personal perspective. It's another scenario that boils down to control it would seem.
Thinking back on my own past and how many people tried to tell me things that I refused to hear, it's easy to see things in hindsight as "thing A" led to "thing B" which resulted in "thing C" to become possible. Watching too closely into other's lives may make me feel the need to intervene and stop something I view as self destructive, but the truth is that I'll never know exactly how things ultimately play out to change another person's life. I can draw conclusions based on my own perception and experience, but I also know the importance of "hitting rock bottom" and reaching a point of surrender. It's a good reminder to help those helping themselves and to avoid getting involved in someone else's destructive cycles that isn't trying to see them or change them.
It may seem a bit callous or cruel to say just stay out of it and let it play out, but perhaps interfering does nothing but make them view me as a judgmental asshole, they do exactly what I try to talk them out of to spite me, and it prolongs the cycle. On the other hand, if I let them come to me when they see it for themselves, offer perspective when asked, and remain a person that they trust and respect, perhaps when/if it does end poorly and they become aware of it, then I will be able to be of real assistance. The issue seems to always be about control though and it's hard to watch people we care about hurting themselves and making mistakes that we feel could be avoided, but in the end perspective and awareness are gained from the lessons we learn along the way.
No one could make me see something I didn't want to see and to ever think I can make someone else see something they aren't trying to see for themselves would be setting myself up for a major ego check. It appears that sometimes the only solution is to give it up to faith and know that however it works out is how it's going to work out and to focus on myself and being able to handle whatever happens without losing my own faith. We can't live anyone else's life for them and the more attention we pay to someone else's life is that much less attention we have for our own life. Accept the things we cannot change and change the things we can. Namaste.