Most ones' feelings don’t seek attention; they are just there, shaping how we see life and how we navigate life. Resentment and regret are like that; they don’t show up but are quietly capable of ruining even good moments.
Guilt hurts so much many times when I sit to reflect on my life and I remember that there are a lot of things I wish I had done differently. I will feel hurt many times; I am full of regret because I didn't live up to my expectations. It always replays in my head, telling me that I didn't do it right. One thing about guilt is it will either trap you or build you up. Most times we find it hard to let go of this guilt, and we keep hurting ourselves. You don’t need to punish yourself over a failed decision; you need to come out from your guilt and move forward.
When it comes to resentment, it is not about what you did but what someone else did to you. One thing about resentment is most times you feel justified by your action; you don’t need to keep resenting people who wrong you because you will keep dwelling in the past and it will keep hurting you. Something I choose to stop resenting people because of peace of mind is not that okay, but I don't want to be hurt again.
Regret is the hardest of them all because it lives in you. Most times when I sit in my quiet corner, I will be full of regret for opportunities I missed and wrong decisions I made. I will not lie; most times I shed tears when I remember opportunities I have missed and where I am supposed to be but am not. But was able to achieve it. Writing this post, I have thousands of things I am regretting, and I wish I could draw back the hand of time to rewrite most of them. I have so many dreams that have died off, but they only live in my imagination.
There is this heavy feeling I have been carrying in my heart over these years, and it is preventing me from enjoying my life. I am always hurt whenever I remember opportunities I missed because of family issues. Most times I feel like pausing life to undo life, but it is not possible. My mother got to find out last year that I have been living life full of regrets, which prevented me from enjoying my life. She tried talking me out of it, but nothing worked out. She has to pay a therapist to help me out.
Steps I took to forgive myself.
Believe me, it was not easy, but I am glad I took that bold step.
I started small; it was not easy at all, but I tried my best to fight it. I started small, and I made it real; every effect was put into action. I told myself it is not too late to start afresh; there are many opportunities for me. With hope I was able to forgive myself, and I stopped living in regret.
If it’s resentment, try and have a calm conversation with the person immediately instead of carrying it in your heart.
If it’s guilt, I apologise honestly to the person without any excuse.
Like the will always say, the best advice is the one you give to yourself. Speak to yourself the same way you would advise another person. Why not do the same and forgive yourself?
I understand that it is not easy; after forgiving yourself, you may feel that you took the wrong decision. You will not feel better immediately, but the ball is in our court to loosen up. Life is not perfect; don’t live in guilt, resentment or regret. Always enjoy life.
This is my entry on the weekly prompts. #ladiesofhive topic What heavy feeling (guilt, resentment, or regret) are you carrying today that prevents you from enjoying your reality? What step are you willing to take to forgive yourself or forgive that situation?
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