So I was going to write a long long note this morning but I was hurrying out so I posted that stuff about not telling people how to react or how to feel.
So I am going to again ask that you all stop telling people ESPECIALLY women how to react or how to express their hurt.
I went through a breakup early last year.
I gave myself time to grieve, I took a week off social media, wrote about it in my diary and another two weeks to move past it and that was it.
That's my style, I give myself time to mourn and I move on.
However I know that not all girls will be like me.
Not all women will handle things the way I did.
I've been done dirty by two guys here on Facebook, I wasn't involved romantically with either of them they were just pests. The second one stalked me and frustrated me, I guess I wrote once about it and I sounded so mild about it but nah it was a lot more serious than I made it seem.
I also know that while I'd rather not call him out and publicly shame him, some women will not find closure until his name is dragged everywhere on these streets.
Tonto Dikeh got hurt, she was almost psycho, she was all over the place and became more...what's the word..spiritual?
Tiwa Savage hot hurt, she talked about it publicly, just once and she moved on.
Damilola Adegbite got a divorce and I doubt if she has said anything about it.
Toke Makinwa got hurt and she wrote a book.
Point is we all handle these thing differently and while yeah some approach are more emotionally sound, mature, less damaging, more peaceful and yada yada yada than the rest we should not condemn people for how they decide to handle their hurt.
Last year someone called a guy who dated she and another girl or girl(s) simultaneously and another person went there to tell her to take it down because that is not the way to grieve.
For minutes I wondered who died and made the person judge of how to grieve.
Some people don't like noise, the deal with their shit privately and no one will ever get to hear of it and that's okay bit not everyone will handle their shit the way you handle yours and that's okay too.
Some like to drag issues, bring it out for all to see and wash that dirty, very dirty panties out in the public so we all see how dirty the water is before it is poured away and that's okay too.
It's on them, not you.
You don't get to tell people how to react to their hurt.
That's just plain ridiculous.
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From @chuka