Here's what I think...

Certain basic qualities should be looked out for. Understand that these qualities vary based on gender.

There are qualities that must be found in a woman such as: ability to build and raise a home, ability to plan and prepare family's meal, ability to respect and submit to the head of the family, etc.

While for a man, certain qualities such as ability to love, care and lead a home or call it family, ability to work hard and provide for the family, ability to protect the family, etc.

So, if these qualities are in place, then we can go further in our discussion, if not, maybe I'd compromise.