My uncle's wife is such a nice woman. Maybe too traditional for my liking, but nice all the same.
An evening ago, she served my dinner in a tray with all them ostentatious ceramics despite my protests to come take my food in the kitchen.
I open the food and it's corn flour with Banga soup. The aroma is heavenly and a lot of animals inside.
The Lord is good. 😆
So I dive in.
I eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.
My tummy is getting filled up but the food isn't reducing as drastically. Especially the soup!
Okay here's one thing:
Asides the fact that I'm not a fan of swallow (except the one happening in the bedroom, thank you very much), I don't like soups. I only eat soup with the meal prepared but once done and the soup remains, don't expect me to lick the rest.
No uh uh. 🙅
[I'm aware there are those that can lick a whole pot of soup just like that. I'm in awe of these people 🙌].
Back to the story...
It's looking as though I'll regurgitate and we can't have that. I can't have that. So with a face like one being maltreated, I turned to my aunt.
"Aunty, I'm okay o." I looked down at the remaining corn meal with such solemn eyes, you'll think I don't even know what sex is. Actually, the corn meal wasn't much but the soup?
Why on earth would she put a drum of soup in my plate?
She just smiled and said, "Ngwanu no problem. Dobe ya ka Chiemere bia rie ya, oh nna?" [Alright no problem. Keep it for Chiemere to eat].
Chiemere is her daughter.
Such a nice woman, I mused within me.
I don't know what happened but my mouth was still scratching me to say something else, to convince her that it wasn't as if I didn't enjoy the food but just that it was much. Probably an attempt to repay her understanding.
"Aunty, the food is sweet o. Just that I'm not a fan of swallow. Please next time, don't put much for me so I don't waste it like I just did."
This, my friends, was where I fucked up.
I wasn't precise. I wasn't detailed. I just said, "...don't put much..."
Much what? I could have said much swallow. Much soup! What happened then? Why didn't I complete the statement? What distracted me? I'll never know.
I know this though; my aunt nodded her understanding and that was when my fate was sealed.
So today, she made rice and beans for lunch. A pretty sight I must say with all the fish she sprinkled inside. Mouthwatering dish that leaves you panting like a feral dog at the sight.
Now that's a meal I can eat a drum of!
But guess what? Someone said she shouldn't be putting much food for him right? An idiot that couldn't even be specific as to the type of food he had in mind and the aunt, being the very obedient wife to his uncle, has to heed to his every request.
Now, I'm staring at the four grains of rice and beans she put in a plate for me. What's worse? The food in the pot is finished!
Brethren and brethren, the award for Mugu of the Year goes to who?
Say the name and earn a swift Block.
goes back to pondering what to do about the pangs of hunger ravaging my system😢😢R
