This is my partner Anna’s life story of how she was raised in a dysfunctional household and who was sent off at a young age to spend time in the care system.
Growing up in a small village in Poland, the youngest of four siblings, two sisters and a brother, she first noticed abusive behaviour between her alcoholic parents when she was about 4 years of age.
Spending most of the time playing outside or sitting with the next-door neighbours, and Noticing a lack of care and affection from her parents. It was soon after that she remembers social workers coming to her home and being dragged away in tears to a care home.
Feeling shocked and confused, she was made to feel comfortable in her new home sharing a large room with 5 other lonely abandoned children. But all she could think about was her two sisters and brother who a few months later were also sent off to live in separate care homes.
Visiting times from her family were especially difficult when it was time for them to leave once again, becoming increasingly confused and aggressive, one time even refusing to let go off her mum and ending up biting one of the care home staff. It wasn’t until four years later when her father had realised he had lost something important and managed to fight and get her living back home.
Although being back home she realised although her dad had changed, her mum was still an abusive alcoholic with no care or attention for her what so ever, constant arguing, shouting, being abusive and bringing friends round to the house drinking until early hours of the morning.
Many years later Anna, now aged 15 , would be re united with her un recognisable siblings, but unfortunately her brother had lost his ways and turned into the black sheep of the family following in his mothers footsteps and who at the age of 16 would constantly start to drink with his mother and also became aggressive when intoxicated swearing , shouting, being abusive to anybody who was close by and even stabbing the family pet dog which was just one of many sad stories from the result of being intoxicated.
As soon as Anna turned 18 and had received her Identification card she couldn’t wait to leave and travelled to United Kingdom to begin her new life. Sadly, just after moving to the UK Anna's father had passed away.
About a year later she called her sister in Poland to find out some information regarding some blood tests and found out that her entire family were keeping a secret about the man who she grew up believing was her father was in fact not her biological father. Although she was shocked about this news it did not change the way she felt about him.
Now 32 with a son of her own, communication with her mum has been almost non-existent apart from the occasional call when she is drunk talking gibberish.
She explains, its very awkward when she travels for a rare visit to her home village to see her sisters, who also have families of their own, as she is usually greeted by her mum and brother. When sober both Anna's mum and brother appear normal and even act like their relationship with each other is fine.
Once Anna's mum realizes that she has not brought anything for her from Poland, money cigarettes etc. she soon leaves never to be seen again until her next visit.
Although it would be nice for Anna to have a loving, fulfilling relationship with her mum she has slowly over time come to realize the sad truth that this will never happen, with so many chances given and rejected.
She now continues to live in the UK with her new family enjoying life.
Unfortunately this is a common situation for many families living all over the world. Some cases worse than others. And growing up as a child in a dysfunctional home there’s not a lot that the child can do when being moved from one home to another because their family do not make any effort in building a relationship, support or care for them. And in some cases, this can have a negative affect on them with their behaviour and turning to drink, drugs and other addictions.
