My first love

Hello to all the members here, I just want to share my highschool life when I was teenager. I have my brother whose name is kuya Jr. His a kind brother and we are very close. He has a friend and workmate also and that was near to my place, namely, Joseph which was my first crush and my first love.

That time I was 15 year old and I'm 2nd year highschool he is shy when he comes home but I have huge crush on him. Because I crush I get his cellphone number And text him always and that time we started as friends and always texted. I'm happy because he is a gentleman and very sweet..

He can always joke that he can flirt with me. I'm thrilled because I like him too . Joseph is older than me .
He is 23 that time and me was 15 years old,
He seriously flirted at me he talk to my parents and say the truth that he love me. . My parents say it ok it because he is a gentleman and a good man and near at my place.

And yes finally Joseph is my first boyfriend and my first kiss also. I'm 16 year's old when started my relationship I'm happy because he is always in my side and also to my studies he gave me support financially.
On the time goes on he became jealous with my friends and classmates. But it's ok I love him and until I graduate my 4th year highschool.. Joseph is always here for me . My graduation day and my Birthday sometimes he is visit also in my home.

Joseph is working in manila with my brother in the company. After my graduation I decided to go in manila for work . And my boyfriend working in the Batangas and me in cavite so it's far away maybe 4 hrs travel.
Sometimes when both day off, free time we having date bonding with my boyfriend.
At the age of my 20 I'm busy to my work because I want to save money for my family to build house . And my boyfriend he wants to marry me . But I'm not totally ready because I want to help my parents. I refused the marriage he wanted.i know my boyfriend is sad .and I say kindly give me at least 3 year from now.

Since then we have been constantly fighting it hurt me because I love him..
Time passed I met a man and I like him so I decided to talk to him so I can break up because we are constantly fighting. And he answered me no problem. He is happy and he said he is tired of me.
That time I'm crying because my relationship is almost 5 years and say no problem. After the break up I'm single and I'm busy with my work. After a weeks, Joseph chatted me.. he wanted to having a date .. I refused because I'm busy with my work and after a day Joseph he committed suicide and he died😢 . I don't know it because of our break up or we have a personal problem.
All Josephs family and friends hate me and blame me... It because we have a suicide letter.. on suicide letter he loves me so much and he wants to marry me. And also I will not be happy because I will only be happy on him. I'm crying because of the letter and I miss him. I did not go to the funeral because they were angry with me.
I couldn't do anything but I cry and pray for him..
Untill now I'm praying for him and 10 year passed I'm not happy also. Thankyou