We are 9 Girls and two Boys ,total of 11 children in my family. Our father was really concerned about we girls ,His illiterate Friends do tell him, he was lucky to have two boys if not, he would have just born for nothing , the fear of us getting unwanted pregnancy made my dad very strict with us. We are not allowed to go out, once we are back from school, we stay indoors to the extent that my dad would instruct that any of his wife that want to get something outside should go by themselves, we were not allowed to go out on trouser, meaning it will make us look sexy and attractive to guys.
Our mom also do not take it easy with us, we are all questioned anytime they find something strange or sneaky, our phone,bags are always checked. She would give us advice on men , telling us not to even smile at guys ,we can get pregnant from there馃槀.Some of my sister are past 18 years, out of secondary school and was still in the same cage, later, they started sneaking out of the house , putting trousers in their bag and changing outside .
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When our mom got to know, they advice our dad that those of their children that are out of secondary school should be allowed to go out,put on trouser,dress good,it is high time they need a slack unless what he has most feared will now eventually happen because they have been sneaking out already. That was how it becomes a normal that we are cut some slack whenever we are of 18 years. 7 girls now married, being educated,no history of unwanted pregnancy or abortions, they are really proud of us.
We were not happy with our parents during those time of being cage,we wanted to be free ,do what our mates does but at the end will learn to cherish them , looking at how our lives turned out to be compared to those we wanted to join then.
Every child below 18 years need a lot of monitoring,yes! They won't like it, it's normal. They need no slack off, check their phones time to time , question them when you notice anything, they have to be restricted, follow your instructions alone but once they are 18 years ,pls cut them some slack. There are things a child will never agree to until they experience it but your work as a parent is always reminding them the consequences of being indulge in bad things. During this age, instead of confronting them of what they do that is bad, calm them to tell them the consequences of anyone that does things like that, they would feel guilty that you are advising them even when you don't know they are already in it. At that stage they only need your words of advice not condemnation, they need your calmness way of listening to them, giving them advice on what to do not judging them.
Many parents fail at this point, still treating them with much fears and discipline will only take them to disobey you, they won't learn and even when they make mistakes then, they would blame you that they didn't receive happiness at home , reason they had to experience what they are experiencing. Parenting is about strategy,knowing when to be on smiling face and knowing when to look fear like lion馃槉.
