If there is one thing I'm glad I was able to change about me, I will say is "not prioritizing myself first " maybe it's bcos I was born in love, raised with love, I came from a polygamous family, were love and unity is our symbol, you won't know the first wife children apart from the second wife, we were loved and trained the same way. So, as I grew up in such family, anywhere I go, I extends that love to everyone, I want to please everyone, I want to see everyone around me happy even if it's at the expense of my own happiness, because to me others happiness makes me happy. I don't feel happy when someone besides me is unhappy.
As I grew older, I realize that not everyone cares for other people like I do, not everyone is raised in love ,so when they see or receive one, they take it for granted, they think you are being nice to them because they have something you want to collect from them. My love was taken for granted by many, I was seen as someone craving for attention and they used it against me.
I realized that if you don't love yourself first before extending the love to others, you will later blame yourself, I feel pained when I don't receive the level of love I give out. What I do now is love myself more, give myself the utmost attention ,then give out little that won't pain me even if it's not reciprocated. I don't overcommit anymore, if something doesn't fit my my peace and schedule, I don't do it anymore. I limit my access now than before, I don't give room anymore to people who drain my energy, I now set boundaries , my no is no ,my yes is yes.
My peace is not attached to the favor you've done for me, if you request what would take my peace no matter who you are, I have learnt to decline. I now love who I have become, I have been more happy and full of have peace of mind.
