Depression is a weird thing, sometimes I go for months and everything is okay. Not good, not great, but okay.
I can breathe, I can relax.
Then I start to feel weird. I'm tense all of the time. I can't make the right moves, I can't say the right things.
I think too much. I waste my time reliving the moments that once made me happy and only see the things that bring me down.
I can't sleep. I hardly eat and nothing seems to taste the same.
I keep all of these feelings inside.
Not because I'm afraid to talk about them, but because I don't want to bring anyone else down.
So I bottle everything up. Over time I stop worring so much, I relax a little bit, I can breathe. I don't feel good, but I stop feeling so bad.
Sometimes I just want to find a way to make it stop,
Sometimes I just want to wallow in self pity.
I've never been suicidal, but I've always been unhappy.
I can't seem to make things go right.
When I think things are going okay soon enough I find that I only knew half of the picture.
But I find that that's okay. Not good, not great, but okay.
I can breathe, I can relax.