Writing this post as I contemplate on my life again while reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fck (review when I finish the book).
So today is February 22 and two days ago I have been living independently by myself for a year now. I celebrated it 2 days prior with a meal by myself at Fry & Bake in a mall near my place.
Me trying to look dramatic in this picture. Lol
My life has always been an open book but some times on Instagram I try not to post things that won’t really inspire others or make others feel bad for me. Honestly, I don’t feel bad anymore for what happened in the past. It liberated me and opened a lot of avenues of learnings and realizations for me.
Whenever I say I live alone by myself people often reacts
“Really? Isn’t it hard?”
“I feel sorry for you for living alone.”
“It must be really hard.”
“Wow I can’t do that.”
“You must be pretty lonely by now.”
Yada yada yada you already got the gist of it.
I don’t get mad at comments like these because I know they just don’t understand the freedom of living by yourself and how satisfying it is to accomplish things on your own.
I was living before with my boyfriend at that time and two fellow housemates in Pasig. We were on that set up for a year. I was blindly inlove so when he told me he thinks relationships wouldn’t work if you don’t cohabitate, I caved in.
For someone who was sheltered by her parents and doesn’t know a thing about household chores and cooking, my cohabitation was a disaster. I had to learn how to cook, clean, wash clothes.
After a year, our relationship didn’t work out and I was asked to move out. It was a very hard stage of my life because #1 it’s so sudden. #2 I wasn’t ready to let go and #3 I can’t go home to my parents and commute to work everyday. That time I recently just moved from Makati job to BGC and my parents live at the edge of Metro manila and it takes me 3hrs to and 3hrs from to commute to BGC. Uber is hardly an option because of the price of the fare. I didn’t had a choice though and commuted for 2 weeks in which I really cried my heart out because it’s tough.
I found a humble apartment in Taguig near Vista Mall that isn’t pricey too. I never wanted to feel the need to socialize with housemates anymore so I really opted from an apartment than bed space. It’s an fx away to work and I really have my own personal space.
I look back to that day where I moved in my apartment by myself without anyone’s help and I carry all my stuff to 3rd floor where my unit is.
It’s really hard doing it all by myself. I cleaned the whole place up and though it isn’t big per se, it really made me feel miserable.
I cried and cried and thought to myself that I am no good and is being punished. That went on for 3 months.
After that, I got over my ex and had a different perspective in life. I appreciated the quiet times by myself and looked forward to spending alone time doing netflix and chill. I became comfortable living by myself that human interactions have become optional and not a need.
Fast forward to present I really am very glad because I have kept meaningful relationships with people — only those who matter. And really felt maturity sinked in.
I still have a lot to learn for sure but I know I am on the right path. I look forward to growing more as a person with solitude as my ally.
Let me know your story too!
Xoxo,
Abby
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