"Excuse me, sir," the Zuckerbot 2020 said as it approached Bob. "According to our records, you're a gun owner. Under the Keep Patriots Safe Act, you've committed a felony by attempting to enter a bank."
Bob, like all good conservatives, didn't object to the Keep Patriots Safe Act, which mandated banks deny services to gun owners, who had been classified as domestic terrorists. "Banks are private companies," Bob uttered to his wife Jennifer over their daily ration of Soylent, "They can do what they want."
The conservative crackdown started with the NRA. Well, it started long before that, with Facebook's crackdown on Diamond & Silk. But bringing the NRA to heel was a major victory for the left.
At a town hall, Tim Cook classified pro-gun speech as hate speech, telling a crowd to loud applause:
HAYES: One of the questions that we got the most out on Twitter because of all the focus right now on the NRA and your praise of Parkland students was “Why is Apple streaming NRATV and how should we interpret that in the context of the kind of ethos that you just described?
COOK: You can bet that we continue to monitor and if it walks into the path of hate speech or some of these other things then we’re cutting it off. All right
Bob didn't view Apple as a monopoly, even though there are only two major app stores in the U.S., and those two app stores controlled far more market share that the robber barons he learned about in high school English ever had.
Bob even defended Apple, "They're a private company and can do whatever they want," he screamed on social media whenever anyone mentioned that perhaps large monopolies should be broken up.
A principled man, Bob spent a lot of time defending multi-billion dollar corporations.
Bob was a hero for freedom, at least when a multi-national corporation's rights were under discussion.
Soon after Tim Cook banned NRA TV from the App store, Google and Amazon followed suit. The NRA had no way to get its message out, as YouTube banned them for spreading "hate speech" and sponsoring "domestic terrorism."
Visa and MasterCard then stopped processing NRA membership fees.
The only way to Join the NRA was via paper check, until that was cut off, too. Every major bank shut down the NRA's accounts.
"Private companies can do whatever they want," Bob screamed whenever anyone protested how the NRA was being treated.
Bob, again, was a principled man. He would stand up to defend helpless corporations like Facebook, Apple, and Google.
Now Bob found himself in a problem of his own. He was being arrested after Facebook found out he had posted a picture of a new firearm.
All prisons and law enforcement had been privatized, and all data was shared instantaneously via IBM's Watson's deep learning machine.
While being carried away in tears, Bob asked the Zuckerbot 2020, "But...My children, what will happen to them?"
"Your son has been confiscated and will begin paying your costs of confinement at FacePrison by monitoring the social media accounts of conservatives."
And my daughter?
"Your daughter's body will be used a sexbot prototype. You'll be honored to know that Mark Zuckberg requested her personally. You'll of course have no problem with this sale, as it was conducted by a private company."
