Facing our own internal sabotage is not easy, as you say we are discouraging ourselves, the important thing is to have a clear goal, because if what you have in mind, is already a way to stimulate you, as you say, other people do the impossible to achieve them.
It's great that your decision to do so is to look for other alternatives, studying online at your own pace, I wish you much success in your goals,
!LADY
!PIZZA