For some reason, I feel so bad, I want to bury one's face in someone's shoulder and sob for two hours, without explaining anything, because there's nothing to explain. This feeling appeared a few months ago, it disappears for a short while, then again floats up, for a reason and without. When you walk and think - it's bad for me, it's bad for me, it's bad for me, as if I'm had uncovered an old wound somewhere, and now it bleeds from time to time, I'm afraid to be alone with myself, I'm afraid even to try to understan, why? It happens all of a sudden, you just sit and watch the TV show, in the head the monkey starts to pound in the drum, no thoughts about anything, and then - just as if someone is hitting you in the solar plexus, and you think "what is it, why, why should? ".
I understand that this despondency should be urgently disposed of, but willpower is not enough take my emotions under control, so I'm sitting on bed under a blanket and I ugly sobbing to himself, like some tiny dog, and at the same time I regret myself for the fact that everything in my life is not the same as with normal people
I can not understand what is happening to me recently, a lot of strange things that I can not explain and can not even determine what is good and what is bad. What is it - craziness, depression, a chronic fatigue syndrome or a lack of sex, or maybe I just do not have someone close to me. And this is happening right now, when my life has stabilized, because even 5 years ago, when everything was really terrible, I had no time to think about the bad, I was just trying to survive.
