Important note: I am not anti-medication. I chose not to take it because of the nature of my particular depression diagnosis. I am not recommending anybody stop or reduce their medication without the supervision of their doctor. If you need medication, please take it! This post is just about other ways you can help yourself whilst receiving whatever help you need, be it from a therapist or medication or both.
What do you do when you have depression, but your social anxiety prevents you from talking about it and thus gaining any clarity from a counsellor? I had the hardest time ever even blurting it out to my doctor, and getting my diagnosis was extremely difficult because I could barely get the words out over the lump of terror in my throat. This was before services like Better Help where you can actually speak to a counsellor online. At one point I would've been all over this.
My initial experience of depression was triggered by the Depo Provera contraceptive injection. I was already in a fairly low place and I hadn't researched the side effects of this drug before I was given it, so I didn't put two and two together until I had been on the drug for around 9 months. After coming off it things got a little better and I dumped the guy I was dating at the time who was just terrible for me. But in a lot of ways issues were brought to the surface. Frankly, I think I have had untreated depression since I was a kid. As long as I can remember there was this empty, gnawing, numb feeling.
In my case, my depression gradually eased off in my late 20s. I did use some natural remedies to help it along and I found some helpful and some utterly useless. But in the end it went away all on it's own. I do still have social anxiety, but thankfully the depression has pretty much ceased. I do still have my down days but I can honestly say I am in a much better place in life.
I want to point out that I don't think any of these methods can “cure” depression. If it was that simple to cure a state of mine we would've all done it already. But these are just non pharmaceutical methods I've found to help the depression along, to soothe it and ease the pain of living with it every day. If you have major depression and/or need to take medication, most of these will work fine alongside it. I am excluding supplementation like St John's Wort and 5HTP, both of which can be very helpful for depression, but they can cause an excess of serotonin when combined with other medication or taken in excess which can be very dangerous so they should be taken under more expert advice than I can offer. Please be careful before you take the advice of randoms on the internet when it comes to taking these supplements, both can be surprisingly powerful!
So without further ado, these are some of the tips I have to help soothe you when you're feeling particularly blue and some habits that should help your mental health state if you can get into a habit with them.
I'm sorry, I had to. I know the feeling of getting out of bed seeming like such a struggle, and brushing your teeth being beyond you. If you're having one of those days, don't feel terrible if you don't want to go for a jog. On your better days, you might consider going for a walk, preferably in a pretty natural setting or somewhere else that is visually appealing to you. Exercise has a well documented and extensively researched endorphin rush which can make you feel better. If you can bring yourself to even do fifteen minutes once a day, or go for a longer walk a few times a week, you will reap the benefits. However you need to make this work for you, make it happen! Maybe you resolve to use a stationary bike or do floor exercises for 20 minutes while watching a TV show, maybe you do something quite slow like yoga or pilates. It doesn't need to be a marathon, just getting moving has been shown to help.
I don't want to get into the amino acid 5HTP (AKA tryptophan) on here because of the aforementioned issue of serotonin imbalance if you are taking medication, but if you aren't taking medication, look into it yourself (read from a lot of different sources, including peer reviewed ones and use your own judgment. I also recommend a lower dose to start). I'm more thinking of more common dietary elements here. There are several nutrients that are linked with depression if your intake is too low. The b vitamin complex, iron and omega 3 oils are three that I know of, there may well be more. Ideally you would be getting all of this from your diet but for various reasons that might not be the case. Ideally here you would get a blood sample from your doctor, this is how I found out I was low in iron. B vitamins and omega 3 oils are not going to harm you if you take too much (although if you have blood coagulation issues or take anti coagulation medication please avoid extra omega 3). Iron on the other hand can be dangerous if you take too much of it, so it's best not to supplement this unless you know you have an iron absorption issue or a low iron diet.
Now I know this is another one that people with depression can struggle with. Depression is often linked to abnormal eating patterns, depressed people may avoid food or binge or just want to eat comfort food all the time. One thing I found helpful when I had depression was to eat one healthy meal a day, then stretch it out to two once I was used to one. Gradual change can be very helpful. Opinions will vary but lots of fruits and veggies and a good amount of healthy omega 3 fats are a good start. Avoiding white sugar and coffee can help with mood swings, as sugar and caffeine crashes can exacerbate things. A low GI diet might be a good option to look into to keep your blood sugar and hence your mood on a more even keel. For me, eating well means also allowing myself a treat now and then...you don't need to be too rigid about it as it will just give you one more issue to deal with.
If like me you live in the UK or some other region with not much in the way of sun, you may find you have to supplement vitamin D. The best way to get it is from the sun. The traditional advice is “10 minutes in the sun with no sunscreen” but it's more complex than this. Issues might include any previous history of skin cancer, your natural skintone and how strong the sunlight actually is. If you live in a warm, sunny climate likely you will be fine as long as you spend some time outside regularly. If you live somewhere like the UK consider using a supplement during the winter months. Of course, please remember that the sun can also cause a lot of damage to your skin and your health if you go overboard. Exercise caution!
An environment that is pleasing to your senses can often have a soothing effect. For some people, it's pure white with lots of minimalism, I am pretty much the opposite, I love bright colours. Keeping things clean and tidy is another thing that can fall by the wayside if you're having a particularly bad bout of depression, but something I've found that really worked for me is having at least one area of the house to retreat to that is filled with things that you love. For me that's a soft teal fleece blanket (an actual security blanket lol, although it does belong to my dog now), brightly coloured bedding, a cup of tea, soft music and burning lemon essential oils for a nice smell. I turned my bed into a bit of a sanctuary when I was feeling down and would often retreat to it with the dog and a good book. If you are constantly frustrated with the mess around you and are lacking the energy to sort it out, having one place in the house which looks, sounds, feels and smells really good to you works really well, it's like your own little sanctuary.
For me, one of the biggest issues with my depression was the utter lack of motivation to get going. Getting dressed, brushing my hair, going outside seemed like monumental tasks at one point. But letting everything you need to do, be it cleaning or sorting out bills or whatever else mount up is going to increase pressure on yourself and you will end up feeling more awful. I used this technique before I knew it was called the “Pomodoro method”. Basically you set a timer (use your phone, laptop or alarm clock, no need to buy special apps or timers unless you want to) for X number of minutes, and you spend that time focussed on the task at hand. Whatever you feel you can cope with. Ten minutes a day is over an hour a week, and you would be surprised at how much it changes your to-do list. And it's infinitely better than zero minutes. The traditional amount of time allotted for the Pomodoro method is 25 minutes. Starting to get on top of things will not cure your depression, but it gives you one less thing to worry about.
Be careful with this one. Even if you prefer your own company like I do, most of us need someone in our lives we can talk to. But ideally you want someone who can be just the right amount of positive. Not someone who ignores your problems or acts as if they aren't real, but who won't wallow with you too much. It can be really hard to find this person of course, but if you find yourself more negative rather than less when you've been with your friends or family, have a good think and see if there's someone in your life you can rely on to lift your spirits...whether it's through cracking jokes, binge watching"Friends" with you or just listening to you when you need an ear.
Getting your thoughts on paper (or a computer screen) can help remove some of the mess rattling around in your brain. Being able to analyse your thinking and seeing patterns emerge can actually prove invaluable. If you're not a writer you could talk it out on a microphone and listen back to yourself, or even draw/paint out your pain. Better out than in, as they say!
The Buddhist concept of mindfulness is an absolutely invaluable tool for people of any religion or no religion at all, whether they have depression or not. It can be helpful for everyone. Mindfulness aims to tame "the monkey mind" and it can help you detach massively from that negative chatter and self talk that loops in your mind and makes you feel crappier about yourself. The very act of focusing on what is around you, on your own breathing or what you can see, hear or feel stops this type of thinking in it's tracks. It takes a long time to become mindful, and I don't think anybody except maybe the Buddha himself was ever mindful 100% of the time, but whenever you realise you are getting caught up in your thoughts, focusing more deeply on your surroundings or breathing can really help. You do not have to do what is traditionally considered "meditation" to be mindful, as you can really just meditate as walking through life. Meditate on what your are doing or sensing or feeling. Two simple mindfulness exercises when you notice your "monkey mind" running away with you:
Immediately think of five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. You can then lead into the second exercise or just start with it.
Focus on your breathing. Take a full deep breath into your belly and inflate your lungs from the bottom up. Hold for a second at the top of your breath and then exhale from the top of your lungs down. You can inhale to four, hold for two, exhale for four, hold for two. Oxygen is one of the few things that is free, yet most of us don't take full deep breaths. It can give you a big headrush at first but once you get used to it, it's very calming.
We all know the mental abuse you can give yourself when you're in a low head state. A constant feedback loop of self hatred and negativity. Devising a few self care rituals for yourself when you're in your worst moods can really help. For me it's a hot bath with candles and a beer. It should be something which makes you feel better, but try and do something to enhance it. I have a bath daily, but the candles and the beer are a special touch for when I'm in a crappy mood. Maybe it's an uplifting TV show with wine, scheduling a massage or using a footspa or something similar. Find something you enjoy doing and make it into a ritual you can treat yourself with when things are particularly crappy.
So this was a long one guys, good job if you're still with me! I hope some of these tips can be helpful for you if you do suffer with depression or are even just feeling low. The most important thing is to take good care of yourself.
All images used from Pixabay
