Acceptance is the first TRUE step to beginning the grieving process. Many people don't come to terms and begin to accept the reality until long after the traumatic event. The sooner one can come to terms with the unchangeable reality the sooner they can begin to heal. All of this was outside of your control and that leaves a feeling of helplessness and regret. However, once you realize that you could have done nothing to influence or change the outcome you can forgive yourself and accept the things outside of your control. Then the grieving process truly begins. Just know, it comes in waves and that you will have good days and bad days and don't be surprised if it hits you and comes out of nowhere. Allow yourself to be human and feel what you need to cope, manage, and overcome this difficult situation. Grieving is on your time... so don't feel you have to rush the process or even fully understand it. I hope this helps you as much as possible. Hang in there!