Amish Decide New MacBook Pro The Reason To Embrace Technology

The Amish (trademark pending) announced today that after two hundred years of resisting Englischer ways and technology, the new MacBook Pro has pulled them into the digital age.

"We have decided," announced Bishop Josiah Yoder, 42, "That the many new and interesting features of the new MacBook Pro are just too interesting."

Among the new features that have proven so interesting are the new thermal architecture and the Touch ID.

"We have often dealt with fire in our community," says Yoder. "We know how to predict where the meltdowns will happen. And when we discovered that your personal information can be stored on an internet-accessible personal device, we knew we had made a mistake retaining buggies. I posted twenty-one hundred pictures of bonnets last night alone."

He said that the community is purchasing them by the thousands. Everyone is supposed to distribute them to all twenty-five children living in the house.

God Almighty, in Whose Name the Amish have foregone technology, was unavailable for comment. Spokesbishops at the Vatican were allegedly unable to find the power switch for their picture phone.