I love your sense of humor!

People often ask me how I stay so trim, vibrant, and energetic at the advanced age of 62. Well, they don’t, but they should.
and
So you can see I am a paragon of virtue and frugality and an example to all of you.

Next to a mustard cemetery (!) is Chlorine Dioxide. "No home’s complete without it." I'm off to see what it is.
Chlorine dioxide is a gas used to disinfect water, but it can be dangerous when taken by mouth or applied to the skin. Learn about its possible uses for bad breath, mouthwash, and COVID-19, as well as its risks and precautions.

Of course you can order it at Amazon, $18 for 2 ounces.
Crystal Clear Chlorine Dioxide ClO2-Kit, Citric Acid Solution w/EZ-Drop Bottles, Small 1 Oz (2 Bottles)
Visit the CrystalClearlab Chlorine Dioxide Store