This! Two months ago, You Live In Me Still

He had been bed bound for seven years at the time of his death. I was both his caretaker and a witness to his long struggle to recover. While it is a terrible loss, there has also been a great deal of relief that he doesn't have to suffer anymore ...

I don't mean to belabor the sorrowing and the overwhelming task of moving on.
Obviously, I'm the one that struggles to move on - whenever others face the prolonged suffering and dying of a loved one, I'm feeling it too, hoping/wishing/praying for peace for all of us.

Really, those who die suddenly and unexpectedly seem to be blessed.
The long goodbye...

Nowadays, it’s more common to lose a loved one to a lingering terminal illness than to a sudden death. Family and close friends, along with the person with the life-limiting illness, now have much longer to face up to the prospect of death and say their goodbyes.
.... what has increasingly become a protracted process as opposed to an event not only leaves individuals to mourn but typically draws in the entire family of the dying person for months or even for years. This process has the potential to alter lifestyles and force families to confront issues that once were dealt with only after the death of the loved one. It can easily evoke issues from the past that were never fully addressed or resolved.

My sister with cancer (gone in six months, enduring incredible pain) did not talk about it with us.
Maybe she somehow managed to remain in denial?
We missed out on all the conversations we could have had.
Walls, walls, walls.

... The challenges that families must face when confronted with a terminal diagnosis of a loved one are complex. They include evolving new structures and dynamics as the person they love slowly slips away. It means learning how to cope with setbacks and deterioration as well as periods of seeming remission. It means dealing with the complexities of extended grief, which can wear individuals down and lead at times to ambivalence or the unpleasant feeling we get when we find ourselves wishing that the process would end. It means talking with a dying loved one about mortality and other issues that do not arise when death strikes suddenly and unexpectedly.

Why do I copy/paste all this stuff. You know all these things. You don't need me to hammer home reminders that you are not alone, that this is a process, that you will move on (somehow, eventually), and how do we even define that: to "move on" - to keep on keeping on - to keep breathing.

But in case you do want to read more, those excerpts came from this site: The Five Stages of Family Grief: Saying Goodbye

Stage 2: Unity
The reality of impending death has the effect of pressing family members to put even longstanding complaints or grudges on hold as they pull together to move into this second stage of grieving.

Now I'm reliving this when I should just go outside and greet the day.
It's over. Our loved ones are gone from this world. We must keep breathing.

Emotions such as guilt, anger, and resentment are likely to emerge in Stage 3. At this stage the most important issue becomes being able to communicate honestly with other family members and with trusted loved ones. Suppressing thoughts and feelings about such upheavals can lead to strained relationships and eventually can cause the entire family to fall apart.