Ohhh, this is dark, witty, diabolical, funny, and fun - did I mention DARK -
What critics say about bold young playwright Sheila Callaghan is true of you:

“Each moment in Roadkill Confidential is exquisitely crafted, stunning in both its heady intellectual content and its vivid, vibrant theatrical construction… it’s all crystal clear and compelling, with a dry macabre sense of humor… if you like intellectually compelling and skillfully crafted theatre you should totally see it… ” -Theatreiseasy.com

Our daughter's alma mater (a small college in the Midwest) is staging this play in April. I really ought to go see it.

This freewrite is full of sharp insights. Taut with suspense! Then, I almost imagine the noisily deflating balloon as the belligerant nanny wannabe picks up her coat (not the bat) and all the tension is defused.

But that's not all! Oh no!
The final kicker is that husband, Mr. Oblivious.
I thought that last one was good.
Well, of course you did, you dolt!

Every single line you write is quotable. This:

Reminded me of Aunt Ester when she was on those psychotropics, after she tried to kill me.

You really nail the delivery, deadpan, matter-of-fact.
And follow it up with another kicker:
I couldn't hire this woman to take care of my child.
The scream slays me, right after "my useless husband" slayed me.

HOW DO YOU PACK SO MUCH into so few words....!!!!!