You are eloquent and strong and vibrant - your writing expresses you very well!
Your lost dream of your farm reminds me of one of the greatest (and simplest!) opening lines in all great literature: "I once had a farm in Africa."

(Out of Africa is a memoir by the Danish author Karen Blixen. The book, first published in 1937, recounts events of the seventeen years when Blixen made her home in Kenya, then called British East Africa. The book is a lyrical meditation on Blixen's life on her coffee plantation, as well as a tribute to some of the people who touched her life there.)

How to silence our inner critic - how to feel "validated" as a mother - let me know if you manage that!!!

A balcony full of potted herbs sounds like a good start.

May the healing turn into thriving. We're glad to have you here!