Late to the Party on most of your posts, today, but I'm here at last. Here and now!
And after reading but not commenting (and too late for upvoting) several posts in a row, these words just leaped and demanded my complete attention:

My problem was that I did not possess another type of intelligence that cannot be taught.

Oh no
Say it isn't so
I'm trying so hard to learn, internalize, or at least 'manifest' (faking it all the way) this:

An intelligence that allows one to be submissive and congenial. An intelligence that easily avoids unproductive battles. An intelligence that finds the right words to say to calm down just about anyone, even an unhappy mother on Mother's Day, the most difficult day of the year. An intelligence that chooses which hills to die on, and which hills to trek around. An intelligence that can find the right words to say even to Gordon Ramsey whenever he pitches one of his childish fits.

(Off to look up "Gordon James Ramsay - a British chef, restaurateur, television personality and writer.")
Oh, not you, surely not you:

My problem with this job was that, in those rare moments when I was not at a loss for words, I would say the stupidest things!

That's MY job.
And yeah, I'd totally prefer to fillet a fish like @myjob than be the one whose 'job' is to keep saying stupid things. I did it again only this morning. So I went on a long dog walk (that didn't do the job, in part because the dogs are not here, but at the groomer's). Then I found a self-hypnosis tape and chilled for a while, eyes closing, conscious brain 'detaching' as I descended ten steps with the narr-RAY-tor (yeah, the distracting accent didn't help), and listened to affirmations and claims that I really can change my wicked ways.
Fingers snapping. Narr-RAY-tor narrating. Ascend the ten steps again.
Oddly, I was now able to see that my words really COULD be construed to be the whining and complaining and guilt-tripping my daughter saw.

She asked us to take the kids for the next three days.
Me:
Dad worked until 7 p.m. last night.
He got up at 4 a.m. today and went to work.
Busy week.

Daughter: There you go again, telling me it'll be superhard for you to take the kids.

Got any good self-hypnosis (brainwashing) tapes to recommend?
I love 3-day weekends with 3 toddlers
I love the way these visits involve two four-hour round-trips, or 8 hours in all, regardless of who is driving. Burning fossil fuels and spending hours on the road is FUN!

The mother's job is to be SILENT and BE THERE for her daughter, supporting her in every way.
Funny, I haven't heard the son-in-law suggest that a daughter should show some respect and empathy toward her mother ....
COME BRAINWASH ME
Make me compliant and sweet and capable of only the nicest, kindest words, even to those who deploy the most insulting and demeaning words toward me.
Yeah.
That, or help me disconnect all forms of messaging while I pack my bags and run away from home.