I am so sorry for the loss of your son, which eclipses my loss of three outta five sisters (your son, "flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone") - and sorry that you're not writing (I shut down and need to get back into painting cats on wood slices, if nothing else, and writing). How do so many millions of people carrry on after losing a loved one... we just have to go on. I think if we knew beyond all doubt that reunion with lost loved ones awaits us in a next life, the suicide rate would be skyrocketing....