I am soooo sorry, @owasco, for the loss of your beautiful son. To sleep, to dream, is one escape, but you will return to the land of the living because you are still a mother to others, and others need you. @myjob, seeing your mother bury two children implies you've buried two siblings. I'm sorry too for your loss. My mom has buried three of her five daughters. How does she soldier on? (Faith in God and heaven.) Somehow we who are left behind must carry on through the pain and loss. @hlezama is right: writing is food for our souls. Keep writing.... and know that you have friends who care. {{hugs}}