Brilliant, as always! It may take you several days to labor and give birth to these creations, but look at the result! Gestation and delivery of a much-needed message. Sorry it's taken me four days to get to this. So much going on in my neck o' the woods, but I'm here now, and glad to have found this.

@futuremind, you nailed it for me:

Spoonfed ideology ... A warrior preparing to fight a battle he has been told is just.

And all that.

I'm ever wrestling with "truth" and expectations that others have for me.

I had to double the Deep Breathing time (to no avail), then head into the meadow, wetlands and woods (also to no avail), then have my son enter the room and hear me out and tell me not to let anyone else trouble me with their judgments of me. Wise words.

This has taken me far too long to learn, and I'm still not "there" yet:

That there is a hard truth to swallow - that for years I had no connection to the many truths that I alone could feel.

More later. I'm still a mess.