And now it occurs to me that it's LORI who I'm calling these words out to. Lori, if you can communicate from The Other Side, maybe you have also learned some stuff that would make me less weird and incomprehensible to you, right? Maybe now, if your "ghost" sat across from me at table over a cup of tea-a-three, I'd be able to tell you what I read today, and you'd nod, and say "Yes! I get it" - because we both know Julie would have gotten it, even at age 15 or 18. WHY ARE BOTH OF YOU DEAD NOW and why do I continue to feel so alone or unable to reach you.... but I did reach Yahia today, and for that I am ever so greateful. And to you, @vikthor, and to whoever else ends up reading this stuff: thank you for listening.