Thank you again for your thoughts and insights on the loss of our loved ones.
I keep thinking of Anthony de Mello's "Awareness" and the things we "expect" of others. We think others should say or do this or that and when they don't, we feel let down. Well, do not expect others to do what we hope or wish or expect them to do. Someone I barely even know recommended this book to me 20+ years, and I read it then, and rolled my eyes at a lot of it, and tried to practice this Jesuit (inspired by Buddhist) concept of DETACHMENT and NO EXPECTATIONS. I couldn't discern detachment from apathy, and so on... one thing I do "expect" of my friends and family is forgiveness, because I live by "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" - I myself have to beg forgiveness all the time, but it rarely seems to be granted. Others do not even say they're sorry or ask forgiveness, but I grant it anyway, to the point I'm a floor mat, frequently trod upon. Many have advised me to slam the door on toxic friends and family. I'm sorry your friend was a critic rather than a supporter when you needed her. If you can't overlook that and find value in her friendship, I wish you many new friends. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts here.